Okay, time for true confessions: Do you want to hear about my first conversation with my husband? We were in college and although we had a class together, we’d never met. He’d never spoken to me before and we’d never been introduced. He just followed me to the cafeteria one day after class, got in the lunch line behind me and started off with this smooth opener . . .
This is how he started our first conversation:
“Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”
Really? This is how you want to start things off? Not even a “Hello, my name is . . .”?
Nope, he just jumped right into investigation mode . . . and on a personal level at that!
I didn’t have the most gracious response, and we both laugh about it now. He gets a kick out of telling people how my spunky response ignited his interest in me. In the years since that first encounter I’ve heard several husbands say they experienced similar feelings of attraction when they met their feisty wives. Kind of like being drawn by the beauty and danger of climbing Mount Everest—the climb is filled with breathless anticipation and excitement, but—watch out!—woe to the man who attempts that climb unprepared!
Why is fierceness in women appealing to men? Well, I certainly don’t have all the answers—especially when it comes to knowing how men think, but it seems that men like a challenge. They admire the strength, courage, loyalty, and determination of a fierce woman. They like spunk and passion. Fierce women don’t grovel for their attention and aren’t desperate for a man to meet their deepest needs.
Men admire a woman who doesn’t depend solely on them for their identity or happiness and I think that’s the heart of the answer.
The truly beautiful fierce woman has an other-worldly strength that comes from a source beyond herself. That source is Christ. She’s fully immersed in the forgiveness and love of Christ and He holds her heart so completely that she’s reached true contentment—in Christ.
Her identity is forged through abiding in Him and her courage is demonstrated by her commitment to Him and His cause. Jesus is her driving motivation and her passion is fueled by His fire. She is no “half-hearted creature” but is drinking deeply of Christ and experiencing infinite joy.
She is a warrior at heart—not violent or aggressive—but tempered by humility—and fighting for His cause. She’s a soft warrior; fleshing out the beauty of fierceness in her daily life.
Loving God and loving others with sacrificial devotion.
What about you?
Have you found your identity and satisfaction in Christ alone—or are you looking to a man for that? Are you like the woman in John 4 who kept searching for love in all the wrong places until she met Jesus? Have you found that sweet spot of contentment from abiding in Christ?
Are you living your life as a soft warrior—fiercely devoted to Him and His cause? What does that look like?