A Warrior at Heart

Okay, time for true confessions: Do you want to hear about my first conversation with my husband? We were in college and although we had a class together, we’d never met. He’d never spoken to me before and we’d never been introduced. He just followed me to the cafeteria one day after class, got in the lunch line behind me and started off with this smooth opener . . .

You ready?

This is how he started our first conversation:

“Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”

Really? This is how you want to start things off? Not even a “Hello, my name is . . .”?

Nope, he just jumped right into investigation mode . . . and on a personal level at that!

I didn’t have the most gracious response, and we both laugh about it now. He gets a kick out of telling people how my spunky response ignited his interest in me. In the years since that first encounter I’ve heard several husbands say they experienced similar feelings of attraction when they met their feisty wives. Kind of like being drawn by the beauty and danger of climbing Mount Everest—the climb is filled with breathless anticipation and excitement, but—watch out!—woe to the man who attempts that climb unprepared!

Why is fierceness in women appealing to men? Well, I certainly don’t have all the answers—especially when it comes to knowing how men think, but it seems that men like a challenge. They admire the strength, courage, loyalty, and determination of a fierce woman. They like spunk and passion. Fierce women don’t grovel for their attention and aren’t desperate for a man to meet their deepest needs.

Men admire a woman who doesn’t depend solely on them for their identity or happiness and I think that’s the heart of the answer.

The truly beautiful fierce woman has an other-worldly strength that comes from a source beyond herself. That source is Christ. She’s fully immersed in the forgiveness and love of Christ and He holds her heart so completely that she’s reached true contentment—in Christ.

Her identity is forged through abiding in Him and her courage is demonstrated by her commitment to Him and His cause. Jesus is her driving motivation and her passion is fueled by His fire. She is no “half-hearted creature” but is drinking deeply of Christ and experiencing infinite joy.

She is a warrior at heart—not violent or aggressive—but tempered by humility—and fighting for His cause. She’s a soft warrior; fleshing out the beauty of fierceness in her daily life.

Loving God and loving others with sacrificial devotion.

What about you?

Have you found your identity and satisfaction in Christ alone—or are you looking to a man for that? Are you like the woman in John 4 who kept searching for love in all the wrong places until she met Jesus? Have you found that sweet spot of contentment from abiding in Christ?

Are you living your life as a soft warrior—fiercely devoted to Him and His cause? What does that look like?


  • Kay

    Kimberly, You are so right on this. In my study “Satisfied…at Last!” I teach women that truly satisfied women (satisfied in Christ alone)make much better wives or even wife-candidates than those who are expecting their husbands to meet their needs. Our husbands are a frequent channel of God’s provision for us, but we’d best EXPECT God alone to meet our needs and then be delightfully overjoyed when He CHOOSES to meet a need through the man we’re married to rather than ever put that burden on that man. When we are satisfied women, we are freed up to give to our husbands out of the overflow of our own satisfaction and we’re not consumed with how he is or is not meeting our own needs. It’s such a freeing concept. I’m just loving your posts, girl! Keep it up. I can’t wait for your book to come out.

  • Kimberly Wagner


    I love how you put this: “When we are satisfied women, we are freed up to give to our husbands out of the overflow of our own satisfaction and we’re not consumed with how he is or is not meeting our own needs.”

    Where can I find your study?

    Thank you again for your encouragement. If the Father brings me to mind, please lift up this mission outpost in prayer.

    Blessings, friend!

  • Kay

    Kimberly, the name of the study is Satisfied…at Last! You can order it at my web site here or you can also get it on, etc. Did you get my speaker inquiry? just checking!

  • Kimberly Wagner


    Thank you so much for sending me your information. I just now looked through your web site a bit and can tell you are a kindred spirit! I look forward to spending more time there.

    I did not get your inquiry, but I’m sure the site administrator will be sending that to me soon. I don’t directly receive those, but they are funneled to me.

    So glad to know you’re visiting here. I think you and I have a lot in common 🙂

    Blessings and praying for you now as I send this!