Often a wife who is in a strained marriage asks me, “What do I do while I wait for my husband to respond? I don’t know how much longer I can take this!” Sometimes the fracture in the relationship runs so deep, that even when the wife recognizes her contribution to the marital mess and seeks to change, in some cases it may take years for him to respond. In case you may be in that place or know someone who is, I thought I’d share with you what I often tell women who are in that painful season of waiting.
I know it is hard to wait. I am so sorry for the pain you’re experiencing. Let me assure you, your wait is not in vain. As you look to the Lord, laying out your need and desire before Him, He is listening and is at work. You may not see all you would like accomplished in your marriage, but if you are looking to Christ, seeking His will, and desiring for Him to be glorified through this, He will transform you.
And isn’t that what we all need most?
But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. Therefore . . . do not lose heart . . . but we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing power will be of God and not from ourselves . . . (2 Corinthians 3:18–4:1,7 and read through to the end of the chapter).
If you recognize any way you’ve contributed to the strained relationship in your marriage, I encourage you to ask the Lord to lead you in the timing and words, and approach your husband to seek his forgiveness for specific ways you’ve wronged him. Let him know that you are committed to growing in your understanding of how to honor and love him well.
There are several good marriage posts written by various authors in the True Woman archives, I encourage you to check those out here. You might consider watching our marriage video with your husband and discuss what you viewed, letting him know that you are willing to work at improving your marital relationship. You can view that video together here.
Also, I have a book that has more of our story and a lot of practical help for rebuilding a fractured marriage relationship. The title is Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior. You can order a copy here.
You might also find it helpful to listen to my husband share his heart on the Revive Our Hearts radio program here.
Finally, as you wait, cling to the Lord as your Redeemer. He alone can transform your marriage. He alone will meet your deepest needs. Ultimately your dependence on Christ and desire to glorify Him is what matters most.
You have my prayers dear one, do not lose hope in all God can do in and through you as you trust in Him and obey His Word (Ephesians 3:20).
If you know someone who is struggling in their marriage today, please pass this post on to them.