Pray Like You Mean It

I remember the days when I would pray “God, get ‘im! Prayers,” you know, prayers from a heart of offense and self-pity: “Do you see how he’s treating me? Convict him . . . show him his hard heart . . . make him miserable!” (“Get ‘im” prayers). Today my conversations with the Lord about my husband sound a lot different. If we’re willing to practice empathy, we can pray with greater understanding of our husband’s daily challenges and spiritual needs. If we pray for them in light of the grace we’ve been shown, prayers will take on a less self-centered tone and turn to humble and loving intercession.

I don’t pray through these every day, but through the years some of the Scriptures I’ve prayed for my husband include:

* Prayer for personal integrity (Psalm 15:1–2)

* Prayer for hope, peace and joy (Romans 15:13)

* Prayer for wisdom and direction (Ephesians 1:17–19)

* Prayer for a marriage beyond our imagination (Ephesians 3:20–21)

* Prayer for fruitfulness in final years of ministry (Psalm 92:12–15)

These are just a few examples of prayers for my mate. I’ve learned that praying effectively can NOT happen if I’m sinfully angry, filled with self-pity or self-centered motives, or holding onto known sin (James 1:20; Psalm 66:18).

Our husbands need us standing in the gap for them as prayer warriors on their behalf. The enemy would love nothing more than to see you spending your mental and emotional energy dismembering your husband rather than going to your knees to intercede for his spiritual growth or salvation.

If you are married to a non-believer, the challenges that come as a result of spiritual disunity probably puts more stress on the marital relationship than any other conflict. Many women in that situation express that they face a temptation to use loud and obnoxious pressure tactics with the hopes of waking up a husband to his need for Christ. In fact one woman recently admitted, “I didn’t share my new faith with my husband; I pushed, forced, and shoved.” But this situation is one where we need to pray more than we preach.

You may be in such a hard place that you have no desire to pray for your husband at all and “Get ‘im!” prayers are light compared to what you feel. You may be in deep waters without hope of rescue. I want to assure you, the Savior sees, knows, and cares. Micah 7 encourages us to wait for the God of salvation—put no confidence even in the members of our own household—but look to the Lord for our help.

But as for me, I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. (Micah 7:7)

Pour out your heart to the Father and let Him know where you are; ask Him to give you His heart to intercede. The exciting and encouraging thing about praying for your husband is that God is on your side if you’re praying for your husband to be all God created him to be. God wants that more than you do, so you can pray in full confidence that what you’re asking is according to His will (1 John 5:14).

As his bed-mate and life partner, you know your husband in a way no one else does, and you’re able to pray for him in a more intimate and knowledgeable way than anyone else on earth. Don’t take that unique position lightly, but press into your responsibility to love your husband well by interceding in spiritual battle by praying for him.

You may have prayed for your husband for years, but I want to encourage you to hang in there and continue interceding earnestly for your man.

Excerpt from Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior Moody Publishers © 2012 by Kimberly Wagner


  • Jen Griffin

    Great, godly advice!! Can’t wait to share this with my friends. If we aren’t praying for our husbands how do we know anyone really is. I remember praying “go get em'” prayers years ago. Most of the time the Lord needed to do a great work in me. As I changed and become obedient to God…he noticed. Thanks Kim!

  • Sheila

    I’m thankful for links suggesting related archived posts. I’m thankful for God for using another “fierce woman” to “edify, exhort and encourage”… to empower and enable according to God’s design, because life works better when we do it His way. While this post is a little over two years old, it is bearing fruit today. God BLESS you this day (10/10/14) as you speak to many women. May their hearts be tender and willing… what your post accomplished in my heart today.

  • Kimberly Wagner

    Thank you, Sheila, I’m so thankful that God spoke to you through the post. And I so appreciate your prayers! We had an awesome conference and God was so gracious to meet with us!