How Do I Develop More Love?

This is one of the most common questions I hear from younger believers. Well, come to think of it, older believers can ask this, too. This question comes from those who desire a more intimate relationship with Christ but wrestle with how to develop a real love relationship with Him. So, for those of you who can relate to this struggle, I thought I’d share a few things I’ve learned that might be helpful:

♥      Ask God to give you more love for Him. You may already be doing this, but please don’t stop asking. This is the kind of request He delights in answering. And while you’re in the prayer position, go ahead and . . .

♥      Ask Him to open your eyes to anything that could be hindering your prayer life and hardening your heart like unforgiveness, anger, and self-pity. Obedience and love are intricately tied (John 14:15; 23–24).

♥     Get to know Him. As you read the Word, ask Him questions about it. Ask Him why He did or said certain things. Ask Him to allow you to know His ways (Psalm 103) and help you understand and appreciate His character.

♥      Go to the cross often. God has given us the mental ability to imagine. There is a negative aspect to using the imagination (vain imaginings) but also a productive one. Read what Jesus endured: the sinless God-man taking the beating, the abuse, the cruel instrument of a humiliating death for those He loves. Visit the cross in your mind and heart and spend some time there reflecting on His love for you. Allow His suffering to give you a greater appreciation of His sacrifice and redemption.

Here are two articles that may help you with this:

“No Greater Love”

“The Greatest Surrender Ever”

♥      Look for evidences of God. God graciously reveals Himself to us. This morning as I watched the sky pinken with the rising sun, it was a gift from Him. Viewing the beautiful coral landscape, only possible from His hand, I couldn’t help but worship in gratitude.

As we begin to really take notice of Him, to recognize His magnificence, His works, His tender care, His grace gifts, His patience, His provisions (He daily LOADS US DOWN with benefits—Psalm 68:19, KJV), then we will nearly explode with gratitude and love. By the way, I said that obedience and love are linked—I believe the same goes for gratitude and love.

♥      Remember that we’re all unique. Your love relationship with Christ will not look exactly like anyone else’s. It will be an extension of your personality, your individual and personal “bent.” Love toward God is first a choice of the will and does not always provide an “emotional high” or “warm fuzzies.” But the more deeply we taste of Him, the more satisfaction we’ll experience in His fellowship.

I’ve dumped a lot on you today, but I hope something here might be helpful. Anyone want to add to my list?

Adapted from my True Woman post:7.02.2010


  • Vivian Etherington

    The only thing I might add is to say no to things that will dull your spiritual sensitivity; things that would take your gaze and affections off of Christ; Choices of what to put into your mind, how you spend your time. Invest in the eternal!

  • Kimberly Wagner

    So true, Vivian!

    Thanks for that reminder. May we today be intentional in how each moment is spent and apply ourselves to saying “no” to the distractions and the lure of what dulls our hunger for Him and “yes” to tasting deeply of Him~feeding on the truth of His Word and walking in the steps He has ordained for this day!