Get Your Heart Ready for Valentine’s Day!

This week I heard a woman asking all the men in the room what they were getting their sweethearts for Valentine’s Day:

“What are you getting for your wife? Diamonds? A trip to Hawaii? A ring?”

I don’t know her personally, and wasn’t part of their conversation, so I kept my mouth closed, but my mind was shouting! Diamonds . . . really? A trip to Hawaii? These people must have more funds and different priorities than the typical couple. Or maybe she was just going for the shock factor, I don’t know, but it is obvious today’s materialistic culture and the onslaught of cupid-season puts a lot of men under the microscope!

Every February 14th, men are pressured to perform great feats as proof of their affection, all because of a holiday dedicated to a commercialized version of “love.”

I’m challenging you to approach this Valentine’s Day differently. If you’ve caved to the crazy hype in the past, and ended up disappointed because your man didn’t come through for you, consider setting your heart on a different path this year:

Be more focused on giving love than getting love. 

This Valentine’s Day demonstrate love to your man:

  • Release him from crazy expectations.
  • Don’t be influenced by the culture’s value system in evaluating his love for you.
  • Put yourself in his place and consider what would make this day enjoyable for him.
  • Convey your love in a way that is meaningful to him (it’s not necessarily the same as what communicates love to you, most men don’t want flowers but would love a good home-cooked meal or some flirtatious and intimate attention from you).
  • If he does anything to recognize the holiday, no matter how small, even if his effort seems corny or lame, make a big deal to show him gratitude and appreciation for it.
  • Thank him for all the big (and little) things he does for you (if you’re having a hard time coming up with anything—start with something basic).
  • Tell him all the things about him that make you smile.
  • Ask him to share with you what makes him smile . . . this can be a great conversation starter for some sweet moments together, but don’t get upset if he has a hard time coming up with anything . . . men can be a little uncomfortable with this kind of conversation, so take it lightly and be prepared to laugh about it if he can’t readily give you an answer—releasing him from the expectation to answer will be a freeing gift.
  • Enjoy your moments with him—focus on making your time together a relaxing retreat for him, rather than focusing on all he’s not doing for you.
  • Live out the true definition of love.

True love means “living out love” which is much different than the commercialized version of “love” that shouts at us from every retail venue. Jesus provides us with the graphic picture of true love on the cross and 1 John gives clearly defines it:

[box] “We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us . . .” [/box]

First He gives, then we receive—love. We receive the benefit of our gracious God condescending to capture our hearts, bearing the full weight of our sin, removing our shame and guilt—at the cross.

But the process of love doesn’t end here.

Finish reading the verse in order to appreciate love’s full obligation and beauty:

[box] “We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” (1 John 3:16) [/box]

Wow. That’s it. Love is laying down our lives, our self-centered agendas, our “all about me” attitudes, our selfish selves. The figurative death that true love, Christ-inspired and revealed love, requires is . . . mine.

Love is dying in order to truly give.  

Romans 12:10 puts it like this:

[box] “Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” [/box]

This is the gift of love we need to be sharing. I encourage you to live out this love this Valentine’s Day.

How will you “outdo” your husband in showing him love?


  • Tambra Lucas

    My husband is always so thoughtful on valentines, but I have never expected anything from him. We will be married 33 years this May. He has bought me roses several times for Valentines, and I still have every dry petal in plastic baggies , and he has taken me to dinner at times. But there have been times he did not buy me anything, and even forgot it was Valentines Day. But that never changed how I felt about him nor was I ever upset that he forgot. A specific day of the year or an event is not what our love is about. It is about being forever faithfully devoted to love each other and care for each other to know that we will be there for each other for the rest of our lives.

    The roses never stay alive very long. The date is over in a night. But the heart of love, care and devotion is on going, the love goes on and on even after death. The heart that will be there by your side, in sickness and bad health, and when your old and less desirable, they still love and care for you, they never leave your side, that’s my husband! That’s what I love about him, not for what gifts he buys me. If I am sick and dying in a hospital one day, material things will not be on my mind they will not even matter, only those whom I love.
    I show love to him, with respect, honor, appreciation, and always, always, tell him how great he is at the things he does. Husbands love encouraging words! They love to know we appreciate them and all that they do. It is a lot of responsibility on them to lead a family, work hard and take care of them. They carry this great weight on their shoulders because they love us.

    One year he came to me on Valentines and gave me a wooden heart, that he had carved, sanded and stained, inscribed on the back was the words “I love you.” I was Wowed more about that then probably any gift he had ever given me, because he was a woodworker and took thought of me and took time and effort to make something so precious and sweet just for me. That was my favorite gift of all gifts he has ever given me. It was because he thought of me.
    Jesus thinks of us, He keeps us on His heart and mind, and will always care for us. And His love goes on and on and on, it forever remains! And His gift of love came to us cut out of wood, the old wooden cross. And if was covered in crimson red blood that said, “I love you” all over it! And it was the best gift He has ever given us! And He carried the weight of the worlds sin on His shoulders, because of His great love for us.
    Happy Valentines Day!!

    “What is man that You are mindful of him, or the son of man that You take care of him? You have made him a little lower than angels; You have crowned him with glory and honor, and set him over the works of Your hands. Hebrews 2:6,7