I debated whether to even publish Friday’s post, because I don’t want to call attention to myself or be “melodramatic” or sensationalize something that might turn out to be a blip on the screen. I filled my journal with those thoughts the same day I received the call. Writing is my way of processing. I pray and write, think and write, and so many times receive greater understanding as I write.
So, I wrote the post, but struggled with whether to put it out here for everyone to see.
When I told my daughter about it, she encouraged me to post it, saying a lot of women get that same phone call and it could be helpful for them to hear my heart on how to respond when faced with news like that. I hope she’s right; I hope it might help someone.
So I posted the blog. On Friday I went to have more scans . . . if you’ve been there, you know the drill . . . lots of uncomfortableness going on . . . mainly because of the little non-gown thingy you have to wear and the . . . umm . . . PRESSURE from the procedure. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
In the Father’s good providence (which we should never be surprised when He does things like this, it is so like Him), He already had one of my closest friends scheduled to work in the Women’s Center that day. She doesn’t normally work on Fridays, but was filling in for a coworker (Note: There are no accidents with God.). It was such a joy to sit and visit with her as we waited for the doctor’s assessment. She was with me through the whole thing and I knew she was praying.
It was so encouraging to go online, pull up this website, and see how many of you dear friends posted sweet words. Thank you so much for your prayers and taking the time to write me a precious note. That means so much to me to know you are praying!
As things stand now, as soon as I return from the first portion of the Revive Tour, the doctor will do a biopsy. Nothing at this point is conclusive, except this:
[box]“As for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and at the last He will take His stand on the earth.” (Job 19:25)[/box]
He is keeping me in perfect peace. There is nothing to fear when I know He holds my future. I have confidence that His plans are good. Trusting in a good and sovereign Redeemer fills me with perfect peace.
My tweet on Saturday came from that morning’s reading in my Spurgeon devotional, and was so appropriate for the day:
“If the God of peace be with us, we shall enjoy the peace of God which passeth all understanding, even though outward circumstances should threaten to disturb.”
The message I hope you’ll receive from this post is twofold. First, that we can rest in His good and sovereign plans, but secondly, while resting—we need to live with urgency:
We don’t know how many moments remain to accomplish His purposes here on earth. We have a limited number of opportunities to impact our world for Christ . . . our life is fleeting . . . time is quickly passing.
Evaluate how you are filling the moments He has given you.
[box]Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.
As for man, his days are like grass; as a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more, and its place acknowledges it no longer. (Psalm 103:13–16)[/box]
We have this short life-time, these few years, filled with moments to be spent. How are you filling those moments? How are you spending your time?
Are you making the most of every opportunity to live out truth before others? Are you filling the earth with God’s glory?
[box]Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. (James 4:14)[/box]
Are you living as a Beautifully Fierce Woman, softened by God’s grace and empowered by His Spirit, serving as a warrior in this battlefield called life?
I am at peace that God will give me breath for as long as He has me here . . . but my desire is that no moment be wasted, that my life will be poured out as an offering to Him and be used as a light shining in the darkness.
How are you spending the few moments you have remaining?