What’s the Problem with Same-Sex Marriage?

Everybody seems to be jumping aboard the same band wagon. The one that seems to be growing larger and louder and threatens to boldly obliterate any opposition. It will probably happen. It looks like our nation will eventually capitulate as other societies have. It’s nothing new.

The people of Sodom caved.

Rome caved.

America will probably soon cave.

Standing for God’s truth is always difficult, typically unpopular and often lonely. I may sound like I’ve given up hope—I haven’t. I just think I see the handwriting on the wall. We’ve pushed God out of every public institution and now we’re removing His foundational model and building block for society. Since our nation as a whole no longer acknowledges God, He may have given us over to our own desires.

To the readers of this blog, where I stand on this debate will probably come as no great surprise:

I am opposed to same-sex marriage.

When I say I’m opposed to same-sex marriage, I don’t mean I’m opposed to individuals who earnestly desire what they see as their justifiable right. They may see me as their personal opponent, but I don’t oppose them. I understand their desire to have the opportunity to marry whoever they choose and see the union sanctioned as acceptable, normal, and welcomed in society. I’m really not opposed to those individuals.

I am opposed to same-sex marriage.  

I’m not opposed to freedom of choice (God isn’t opposed to freedom of choice obviously, or we wouldn’t be having this discussion; we wouldn’t be struggling with sin). I’m not opposed to love (true love, that is, I am opposed to selfishness camouflaged as love).

I am opposed to same-sex marriage.

I’m not opposed to same-sex marriage because of the individuals who are asking it be legalized. I’m not opposed because I’m a “homophobe” or a hatemonger or because I like to push people’s buttons. I am opposed to same-sex marriage because it stands in direct opposition to God’s revelation of Himself.

I’m opposed to same-sex marriage because it stands in opposition to God.   

Making that statement here is pretty easy—what makes it tough is when you are standing alone in the public eye and voice your support for biblical marriage as God designed it.

When it comes to cohabitation or same-sex marriage, we’re bombarded with messages like, “It’s no big deal!” The culture is voicing opposition to God’s model for marriage. It’s screaming that Scripture’s boundaries are archaic and too narrow.

Let me assure you, He is no narrow God.

His immensity is mind boggling and when He lays out a design for life—He’s delighting in giving us the best. He desires for us to experience joy beyond our imagination and that only comes from doing things His way. He doesn’t want us to forfeit His exciting plan for marriage.

Today there is a lot of confusion and debate over same-sex marriage. We hear questions like: 

Why do some people think marriage is such a big deal— isn’t the real issue whether two people just “love each other?” 

What does it matter if the union is between one gender or two?

My answer is—marriage is a big deal, it does matter if it is a heterosexual union and—no, the real issue is not whether people just “love each other.”

Have you ever wondered why God created only two genders? Why only two?

He specified and reiterated the two genders He created by stating clearly:

[box]“God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27)[/box]

He repeats this distinction of 2 created genders in Genesis 5:2, reiterating the classification of “male and female.” He created the prototypical couple, the first marriage, as our example—male and female—united by God.

Being God, we know He never wastes His efforts. He had a good reason to do it this way. It wasn’t a random choice but intentional on His part. (Okay, that’s a no-brainer).

But what is the significance of two genders in marriage?

Two genders united in marriage provides a significant metaphor. God is the only truly unique being. God is a spiritual being and is totally ‘other’ in the sense that there is “none like Him.” In uniting with us in relationship, there is a uniting of two very different beings.

To understand the significance of the same-sex marriage debate, we must understand God’s purpose for marriage.

When we understand that God created marriage to serve as a model to portray His relationship with man, and we recognize there is a basic difference between Infinite God and finite man, then we can see that same-sex marriage is a marriage model that presents a perversion: the uniting of two of the same rather than the model uniting finite and infinite (man and God).

God’s design of marriage is the physical model He created to display His great mystery: the relationship between Jesus (the divine Bridegroom) and the Church (His bride) as seen in Ephesians 5:22–33. Same-sex marriages obliterate this model.

Homosexuality reflects man’s exchange of God as deity—which is why we must reject same-sex marriage as a God-honoring option. 

Tomorrow, we’ll look at the description of how that occurs, but for now, remember that as we discuss this issue with those who disagree with us (or disagree with God’s Word), our agenda must not be “winning an argument” or taking an obnoxious opposing stance. Our agenda must be to speak truth in love and follow Christ’s example as the perfect balance of truth and grace. We must share truth from the humble position of knowing we are forgiven sinners, still in much need of growth and greater understanding.

Our concern must never be “winning an argument” but always winning our opponent’s heart —to the love of Christ, while honoring God’s Word and glorifying Him.


  • Vivian Etherington

    You know I agree 100%!! I love the way you explain why it is wrong from the standpoint of God’s model of uniting 2 different–Infinite with Finite, describing Christ and His bride the church! It is one of the best explanations I have read! This is in your book, isn’t it? This whole issue is so much worse than most, even believers, realize! I so appreciate that “the Word do Christ dwells richly in you” so that is what comes out in your blogs and in your life!

  • Christa L.

    Thank you so much for your posts. I’m always encouraged by your words! Thank you for taking a stance on the issue and explaining it in such a God-honoring way. Thank you for your closing words of not winning the argument, but being concerned over and winning the heart of those who are of this world: lost sinners wandering in darkness.


  • Kimberly Wagner

    Hello, Viv ~

    Yes, I condensed some of the points I made in Chapter 11 of the book for these posts. Thank you for your kind words and for sharing this link on your Facebook page. You are always so encouraging, friend!

  • Kimberly Wagner

    Hello Christa ~

    Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and send me such a precious word of encouragement. I really appreciate it!

    Blessings to you!