It sounded so old. And it sounded frail. I didn’t even like the sound of the dreaded “disease” they kept mentioning: “menopause.” I thought surely only wimpy women gave into the symptoms I heard about as we sat on the front porch of my grandmother’s house that Sunday afternoon. As an eight year old, I was confident that when I reached “that” age, I wouldn’t cave to such silliness.
If those precious “old” ladies could’ve read my mind . . .
Hot flashes . . . surely that was their imagination . . . mood swings . . . get a grip . . . depression . . . (sigh) these women need to get a life . . . is this all they can talk about?
Of course, now I realize that what I thought of as “old ladies” then wasn’t really that old!
I’ve always called it the “M” season, because I hated that word: menopause.
I’m wondering whether the Father graciously looked down on such an arrogant little girl, sitting amongst the “old ladies” on her grandmother’s porch, and in compassion, He determined that a good dose of the “M” season was exactly what she would need in about forty years! Yep, that “M” season has definitely brought me to my knees in ways I would never have imagined.
But I’ve had to accept the fact that the “M” season has snuck up on me and as a dear friend frequently reminds me, “Anything that causes us to need God is a good thing . . .” right?
This season has caused me to “need God” in a way that I’ve never needed Him before. It has brought a new sensation into my life: fear. Fear has never been much of an issue with me . . . but something about this strange terrain brings with it this new enemy.
It is funny to think about “fearing” this season of life . . . but on some of my worst days I’ve literally “feared” I’d never sleep a full night again, feared I was losing my mind, feared I’d never return to “normal.” I’ve feared that the dark shroud might reappear, and I’ve feared the changes that come with this process. But I’ve found no matter how strange this new terrain grows, no matter how unfamiliar this territory . . . my faithful Companion hasn’t changed.
I may be changing, but thankfully, He isn’t!
[box]“The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1)[/box]
I’ve clung to Him like never before through this crazy, mixed-up feeling, hormones-out-of-whack season, and I’ve found that He is that same faithful, constant Companion that He was when I was an arrogant young girl on my grandmother’s porch.
And this is why I don’t fear . . . because although I’m changing—He’s the same.
Tomorrow I’ll explain why I refer to this season as the “other side of womanhood,” but for now, I’d love to hear from you . . .
Are you there? Have you entered the “M” season yet? Are you hurtling toward the “other side of womanhood?”
What challenges have you encountered and how are you dealing with those?