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My Cry in the Darkness

Each year the Lord impresses on me a certain Scripture passage that becomes my prayer and focus for the year. This year’s passage is from Psalm 143. It is a cry for mercy from one who is sitting “in darkness.”

In a sense, this year has been one where I’ve felt like I was groping through the darkness. Upending life events have left me a bit stunned and confused. I’ve hit a few walls where, no matter how much I hoped to see reconciliation in precious relationships, the way hasn’t been made clear (yet). I’ve been disappointed by people I love and respect. I’ve seen the devastation that comes from misunderstanding and confusion. And I’ve cried out for mercy.

Each morning when I begin my devotional time with the Lord, I begin with this prayer:

[box]Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
for in you I trust.

Make me know the way I should go,
for to you I lift up my soul.

Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God!

Let your good Spirit lead me
on level ground! (Psalm 143:8, 10)[/box]

The one thing that has kept my heart through all of this long, dark season has been this:

His steadfast love is never failing.

That truth is the one security for my soul. It isn’t a warm and fuzzy emotion. It isn’t a delusional hope. It is the rock-solid knowledge and awareness that His love is steadfast and it is eternal.

Friends may fail me. I will unintentionally fail and disappoint those I love. Misunderstanding, sin, and confusion, may rise up as barriers to bring division—but in the midst of that, God’s love for me and His love for my estranged friend, is never failing. And that is my hope. That His love that is never failing will win out. His love will conquer and totally dismantle the stone walls of division. His love will provide the necessary element for unity to thrive and grow.

I am trusting in His steadfast love, but I’m also asking Him to direct me in “the way I should go.” That I can hear His instructions and obey, whether those instructions are to attempt another conversation to clear up misunderstanding, or whether it is to be still and patient, and trust Him to do what only He can do.

In my devotional time this morning, Spurgeon described this kind of waiting:

“As to providential matters, the work of grace in the soul, and the work of the Lord in the souls of others, let us cast these burdens upon the Lord, and rest in Him.”

As I’m asking for His direction, as I’m seeking His instruction for the next steps I’m to take, I’m trusting that His good Spirit will teach me, because I long to fulfill His will.

I ache for the day when He will completely and eternally eradicate all sin, banish all confusion, destroy all vain speculations and put every heart’s focus on His beauty. I long for self-absorption to be cast off for worship of the only One worthy of our heart’s occupation.

While I’m waiting for that day, Father, keep my heart fixed on You in the midst of the darkness.

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