“How Could God Let This Happen?”

Her question was a mixture of anger, shock, and deep pain. At least she was honest enough to admit that her anger wasn’t only directed toward her ex-husband, but that she was also angry with God. Some women never recognize that, leaving them unable to move beyond their pit of suffering; their bondage of bitterness.

But my friend freely admitted that her anger was because “God let this happen!”

She was stunned by divorce papers and within a few months, her husband of more than two decades had married another. It was as though their lives as “one” had never occurred!

Sadly, I’ve heard the same story repeated hundreds of times, different faces, different names, but all with the same picture of broken dreams and shattered hopes.

Does God deserve the blame? 

Could God have prevented the destruction?

Where is God when a marriage disintegrates?

He’s there, right in the midst of your pain and confusion. You are not alone. He sees, He knows all you are facing, and He cares. But He will not force His righteous and good choices on you or your husband. You have to make those for yourself.

A marriage doesn’t disintegrate over night. There is a myriad of self-centered choices, multiplied by weeks of selfish inclinations, and sometimes years of self-exalting activity. That sounds pretty extreme, doesn’t it? But if we’re honest, we all know that it’s true.

It’s God’s grace that any marriage begins to actually walk in His definition of love.

When in the pain, when you want to rail at God, when you want to curl up and die, when you’re screaming that you don’t deserve this . . . go to the cross. Remember what Jesus walked through in order to provide you with new life, freedom from the bondage of self-centered living, and hope for the future.

This is what you rejoice in; this is what you cling to in your pain:

[box]Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.

In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory . . . (1 Peter 1:3–8)[/box]

[box]For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth.

When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

(1 Peter 2:21–24)[/box]

Dear friend, are you suffering today?

How can we pray for you?


  • Kimberly

    Only our Father knows exactly what we need, and
    “He Is” always faithful to send the very word for the perfect fit. Thank you for your labor in this field of life.
    humbly, Kimberly Terry

  • J

    I can totally relate to your friend…especially when reading through the OT. God changed people’s hearts – why hasn’t He done that within my marriage. Am I not righteous enough? What am I doing wrong? Should I be praying differently? Should I be doing this or that? Ask many different questions, no answer, no change…

  • Kimberly Wagner

    Hello Dear “J” ~

    I’ve taken a few days to pray over your comment before responding. I am so sorry for the deep pain and confusion you are experiencing. Truly, I wish I could give you full and complete answers, I wish your situation could be fixed, your marriage restored, and that you could experience the joy of a sin-free life! Sadly, none of us will reach that state of completion here.

    I don’t know why your prayers have not been answered in the way you’ve hoped, but I can assure you that when we come to God with humble hearts, seeking for Him to be glorified in our lives, and basing our requests on that motive alone, He hears and He is working.

    I want to encourage you to read and pray through Psalm 31 while considering Christ on the cross. Even His request that God might accomplish His redemptive purpose in another way was not answered in the affirmative (Matthew 26:36–46).

    As you pray through Psalm 31, reflect on the fact that Jesus endured great suffering because of sinful men, yet He did not retaliate, He embraced the cross in order for redemption to occur. He shed blood that we might be forgiven and enter into a relationship with God. From the outside, to those who couldn’t see or know what God had in mind, it looked as though it was a senseless act of cruelty, but in fact, God was working in the midst of the greatest injustice ever committed.

    After reading Psalm 31, I hope you’ll also spend some time in 1 Peter. This book is always so helpful to me when I’m struggling to gain God’s perspective on suffering. I also will be sharing some posts next week on understanding tragedy that you might find helpful.

    I don’t know the specifics of your situation, but the Father is well aware of every detail. No matter how you may feel, He is at work, He remains faithful when we are faithless, and He cares about you.

    Pausing to pray again for you now ~

  • Kimberly Wagner

    Hello Kimberly ~

    Thank you for your word of encouragement today. You are right, He is faithful always!

    Blessings, friend ~

  • Kimberly Wagner

    Hello Chelsea ~

    I am so sorry to hear that! I will pray for you now:

    “Father, would you bring Chelsea comfort during this season of difficulty? Please allow her to sense Your presence and to learn what You have for her during this trial. Thank You that You are the Great Physician and able to bring complete healing. Please work in Chelsea’s life, I ask that You would provide all that she needs and that You would be glorified through this process. Please bring a support system into her life right now that will be a network of help for her. Provide her with courage, fortify her with strength, enable her to see beyond the pain and to know that You are there with her. I’m making this request, Lord Jesus, in Your name, knowing You are listening, You see all Chelsea is facing, and You care for her.”

    Please give an update when you can, Chelsea. I am praying for you!

  • Chelsea

    Continue praying! I seem to be getting worse! Here’s one of my recent (although not that recent) updates: Now, we’re not 100 percent sure that’s all that’s going on, and may have to get it checked out further. I so appreciate you kneeling before the Father in petition for my cure! Thanks!