One Ugly Heart!

My life was not going as I’d planned. I was left home alone with two toddlers while my husband spent his days trucking across America.  I was Not. Happy. At. All! He’d left full time ministry and for three long years was employed as an over-the-road driver that kept him away from home most of the week while I did the parenting basically alone.

I flunked the test during that season of our lives. God often gives us the opportunity to express thanks to Him when we’re experiencing less than “ideal” conditions. At least less than our idea of what our conditions should be. I failed the test because I’d settled deep into discontentment, one of the ugliest heart conditions one can have. And I had one ugly heart!

Discontentment says I deserve more, bigger, and better!

Now, you may be too “spiritual” to voice it that way, but discontentment can be deeply rooted in your heart, but you don’t see it there because you’ve covered it with a veneer of good intentions. You really don’t see yourself as “complaining” just voicing concerns or expressing your opinion.

Discontentment looks at what God provides (or appoints) and finds reason to gripe and complain. Remember a familiar story from a group that kept looking fondly back to the past (conveniently forgetting they were in slavery) and ignoring the daily miracle poured out for them?

[box]The rabble who were among them had greedy desires; and also the sons of Israel wept again and said, “Who will give us meat to eat? We remember the fish which we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers and the melons and the leeks and the onions and the garlic, but now our appetite is gone. There is nothing at all to look at except this manna” (Numbers 11:4–6).[/box]

We can point the finger at these guys and shake our heads in disgust, but how often are we guilty of the same disposition? The Beautifully Fierce Woman is filled with gratitude for God’s good gifts. Her heart is ruled by the peace of contentment. And if you’re wondering how you get contentment, here are a few of my thoughts.

Contentment flows from a heart that’s settled the three most important issues of life:

  1. God is God.

He is sovereign and working all things out according to His plan. Even when we experience suffering and difficulty, we must trust that this is a sovereign appointment from God for my good and His glory.

“I know, O LORD, that Your judgments are righteous, And that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.” (Psalm 119:75)

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

  1. God is good.

I can trust His provision, His plans and His personal work in my life because He is trustworthy. He is the God who sees and knows my need and seeks to work through that situation to conform me more to His image and to accomplish His redemptive purposes.

“The LORD is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble, And He knows those who take refuge in Him.” (Nahum 1:7)

  1. God is worthy of all my worship.

He is my greatest treasure. He is where my heart is; all my deepest longings are fulfilled in Him. He is my complete sufficiency and Who I most value.

“Therefore let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, and thus let us offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe . . .” (Heb. 12:28)

When I sink deeply into those truths, I can be at rest and content with what He allows. I can cease striving. I can stop trying to control people and circumstances. I can stop manipulating and pressuring. I can find joy in the daily moments of my life, knowing each one is a gift from the Father and worthy of my gratitude.

I can rest in my love relationship with Him. And that is the heart of contentment.

Would your friends and loved ones describe you as a contented woman today?

Is complaining a common activity for you?

How can I pray for you today?

Image courtesy of Ohmega1982/


  • Annette

    Contentment has been the lesson of my heart for several years now~ Thank you for the clear encouragement! It’s easy to ‘mask’ discontent in so many reasons….but it really comes down to the Truth you shared….Thank you my dear friend! God has used you to point my heart to His Truth once again~

  • Naomi

    Pray that God gives me the desires of my heart concerning my marriage.

    Pray that I trust God in the tough times of my marriage (even though I don’t know where it’s going.

    Pray that I feel God’s presence at times when he seems so far away.

    Pray that i GET CLARITY on God’s will for my marriage. What am I supposed to do? Where/When will this end?

  • Jennifer

    Thanks for posting this Kimberly. I so needed this today! I have printed out these three important issues of life and plan to memorize the scripture that you quoted. Your ministry is such a blessing to me!

  • Jennifer


    I will be praying for you, I too am praying some of the same things for my marriage. One thing I can tell you is that God is for your marriage and HE loves both you and your husband! Just keep studying God’s Word and asking Him for guidance and reassurance! Bless you my sister in Christ!

  • Kimberly Wagner

    Hello, precious friend!

    Dear, Annette, you have taught me so much through the years, thank you for your faithfulness as a friend and for your example to follow hard after Jesus! Love you much 🙂

  • Kimberly Wagner

    Dear Naomi ~

    It sounds like you are in such a painful place, but not one beyond God’s reach. I remember so well that dark and lonely season, wondering if God would ever answer my prayers for our marriage. God is faithful, He sees all you are facing, He cares, and He is able to do more than you can ask or think (Eph. 3:20–21).

    Have you read “Fierce Women”? I think you could find some practical help in the book. But more than God “fixing” your marriage, the greatest need of your life is to continue pressing into your relationship with Christ. Look to Him for your sufficiency and find your deepest needs met in Him.

    I hope you’ll read through the Scriptures I’ve listed in the blog post in the link below:

    Cling to this truth:

    “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

    Just as it is written,

    But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:31–39)

    Pausing to pray for you now ~

  • Kimberly Wagner

    Hello, Jennifer ~

    Thank you for letting me know how God used this in your life! YOU blessed me today by sending such an encouraging comment and also for reaching out to minister to Naomi. That is my dream, that one day this site could be a place where sisters can share their pain, ask for help, issue prayer requests and reach out to comfort and encourage one another. Thank you for doing that today, friend!