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We Need More Men, Not Peter Pan Boys

Lindsey was sharing with us something she’d read about the epidemic of young men who’ve decided that 30 is the new 15—in other words, men who refuse to grow up and take responsibility as a man. “Men” who’d rather play video games than apply themselves to a job, who’d rather run around with other “Peter Pan Boys” than invest in raising a family with a wife he is committed to love and cherish. She was sharing the Facebook message she’d read because she knows this is something we’re passionate about.

We’ve seen the increasing epidemic of adolescent males, and we address this in “Men Who Love Fierce Women.” This is an excerpt from Chapter One:

Adam was the first man to attempt to lead a fierce woman. God put him in a position that would require courage. Adam was given the opportunity to take a stand to obey God’s command. As men, God places each of us in situations where we have the opportunity to reflect His ways and His character through exerting leadership. But leadership requires courage. And somehow it seems that a strong woman can be so intimidating that it sucks all desire from our hearts to lead. I felt like I could face the fiercest battle with men, but would run from the thought of facing a battle with my fierce wife.

But God created us to lead. He assigned us to lead. He’s given us the mission to lead. That is at the core of what it means to be a man.

As we look at the first Adam—man of dust—do you sense a faint recollection like a dream, of what you were created to be? What you should be, what you desire to be? This is your DNA to live out courageous leadership, true manhood. When you read of men doing the extraordinary, of soldiers who give their lives in battle, when you watch the bravery of a hero, do you sense that stirring? Most of our lives, it lies buried beneath the drudgery and tedium of life, but when we hear of a true man who steps out courageously to face impossible odds . . . that stirring within is the remaining residue of the innate knowledge of what we were created to be before the fall. Our Creator’s purpose for us rises within and reminds us of our mandate and our true identity.
We are the earthly reflection of Jesus: man of dust—man of heaven.

Characteristics of the Courageous Leader:

  1. In strength and dignity he bears the image of God and his deepest identity is found in his relationship with Christ.
  2. He fears God alone. His love for God is the motive that allows him to lead well.
  3. He knows his assignment and lives to accomplish it.
  4. When faced with overwhelming obstacles, and daunting challenges, he pushes past the pain and trusts in His God.
  5. He accepts the mantle of leadership that God has placed upon him, seeing it not as a burden, but a privilege.
  6. He knows that his strength lies solely in his humility before God and his complete dependence on Christ.
  7. He is not ashamed to love with passion, conviction, and sacrifice.
  8. If required, he willingly lays down his life for his God, God’s truth, his wife, his children, or anyone else who should need a defender or rescuer.
  9. He is generous with all he has, regretting only that he does not have more to give.
  10. While others may wither, complain, or retreat in the storms of battle, trial, and affliction—by God’s grace he is the warrior that continues to stand.
  11. He is known as a man of his word.
  12. He is known by his strength of character, and his tenderness of heart.
  13. He wears the mantle of a prophet with conviction and courage but with a heart to administer grace to the listener.
  14. As a recipient of God’s grace and forgiveness, he freely extends God’s grace and forgiveness to others.
  15. His singular purpose is to glorify God.

Today, if you’re a man who is reading this, how do you measure up to this description? Where do you need to ask God for courage and grace to fulfill your manhood?

If you’re a wife, I hope you’ll affirm your husband for ways you see him stepping up to the plate. And where you are disappointed, don’t demean him . . . pray for him with compassion and grace.

If you’re reading this and you’re single, we hope you’ll pray for your future mate (if that’s God’s will for you), and ask God to prepare you to be the spouse he desires for you to be. Also pray for the marriages around you.

If you see the need to affirm manhood today, will you share this post with others?

Portions of this post are excerpts from Men who Love Fierce Women: the Power of Servant Leadership in Your Marriage © 2016 • LeRoy and Kimberly Wagner • Moody Publishers

One Comment

  • Cindy Stryker

    Sounds like a great & interesting book! You know, my thoughts on the matter, is that every man IS “living out” the who, & what, they CURRENTLY BELIEVE God to be like!(based pretty much on all the things they’ve been TOLD by the various “teachers” THEY’VE had in their lives (including their “teachers” (their fathers) who have “flown the coop” & ABANDONED them, & their mothers… (Malachi 4:5 &6 comes to mind) I believe that for the men (& women, too) to get HEALED, they/we NEED to GET BACK to READING God’s Word FOR THEMSELVES… cuz simply relying on WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY GOD SAYS is NOT SAFE ENOUGH. JMO