Anything You Can Do, She Can Do Better!

(LeRoy Wagner)

Outside of marriage, I felt confident to tackle any challenge, but at home –I felt like I was totally a failure. Kim didn’t realize that her “fierceness” was affecting me that way. It really wasn’t her fault, I should’ve been the spiritual leader, no matter how I felt.

You may be a man who was first drawn to your wife—because of her fierceness—but now feel that her fierceness is more than you can handle.

In fact, you may have lost your bearings as a man and feel you can do nothing right. You may’ve “checked out” of your marriage relationship emotionally, and may be tempted to check out literally. Before you continue down that dark road, I want to give you a word of hope. God has a plan for you that is better than you can now see, but you must leave your cave to experience what He has for you.

Marriage is a “grace factory” and God desires to take what now seems to be destroying you in order to do a beautiful work through your lives.

God doesn’t show favoritism (Acts 10:34; Romans 2:11) but desires to work in your marriage. If He was willing to rescue us, He is willing to rescue you!

If you know someone who is struggling in their marriage today, will you share this video post with them?

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at


  • Amy

    I feel like my husband may be in this place and I do not know what to do. I feel hopeless, and am desperate to save our marriage, to move forward, to not give up on 10 years. To show our son the depths of how great our God is. Feeling so lost and alone.

  • Kimberly Wagner

    Hello, Amy ~

    I’m so very sorry for the pain that you’re experiencing. It is so hard to be in that isolated place in your marriage. I want to encourage you, that no matter how dark and hopeless it seems, God is able to do a miraculous work.

    My first word of encouragement to you (if you’ve not already done this) is to find a couple of older women who will help you navigate through this season and also hold you accountable.

    Spend some time seeking God in prayer, writing out specific ways that you can see you’ve sinned against God and your husband. Ask God to show you specific things you need to ask his forgiveness of and share that with him.

    Also, there are several blog posts on this website that you might find helpful. If you put your email address in the “subscribe” box in the upper left column, you’ll receive a blog post from me (whenever I post a new one) in your email inbox.

    Here are a few things that I’d suggest prayerfully considering:

    1) Contact your husband and ask him if you can meet. Consider watching some of our marriage videos together (there are several under the tab marked “Videos” and then be open to receive anything he shares with you. Have a honest but humble conversation about how you’ve both been hurt in this marriage. Ask his forgiveness. Let him know specific ways you’ve wronged him and how you desire to work toward reconciliation.

    2) Saturate yourself with God’s Word through listening to solid biblical teaching. Copy and paste this link to your browser and it will take you to a program from Revive Our Hearts Ministries that I think you’ll find helpful:

    Listening to programs from their website will provide you with a biblical perspective.

    3) Look to Christ ultimately to fulfill your emotional needs.

    4) If you’re not plugged in to a church with solid Bible teaching, find one and get connected there. None of us can navigate the Christian life well, attempting to do it as a “solo” believer, in order to grow, we need the healthy environment that is found in a body of growing believers.

    5) Seek input from more mature believers, possibly an older couple that would be willing to invest in your marriage.

    6) Consider reading our books together (my husband has written one to men “Men Who Love Fierce Women”) and discussing what God is showing you (links to where you can purchase those are on the left side bar of this page).

    I’m pausing to pray for you now. May you see God move in your life in such a way that you are amazed by His “new” work!

    “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” (Isa. 43:19)

  • Amy Harman


    It is full blown adultery! I am dying inside!! I don’t know what my son and I are going to do. I’m questioning all I know to be true about God. The knife keeps digging in deeper each day. Please pray for me!