Marriage is a Grace Factory

Would you describe your marriage as a place of grace or a battleground? Far too many believers are struggling in a marriage where they are functioning more like enemies in battle than lovers. Today, LeRoy and I are sharing again with Bob Lepine and Dennis Rainey at Family Life Today and I hope you’ll listen as we talk about what God wants to do in marriages and the role that grace plays in that.

When two come together to unite their lives in marriage, both people bring into that sacred relationship loads of baggage and sinful habits they may have been carrying for decades. Marriage gives the opportunity for us to be squeezed as never before . . . and in that squeezing, we often express ourselves sinfully. But marriage is a grace factory. Every time we’re squeezed, we have the opportunity to cry out and receive God’s grace for help.

Today, on the program, we describe ways to build a new relationship through God’s work of grace that He desires to bring to your marriage. We hope you’ll click over and listen to the program, but also share it with others who may need hope and need to know the grace that God has for their marriage!


  • Kimberly Wagner

    Dear Guerda ~

    I am so sorry for the pain you must be experiencing because of your husband’s actions. My heart breaks for you. Have you asked his forgiveness for ways you’ve hurt him? Have you taken responsibility for your part in the marriage problems?

    The sad reality is that a wife may do everything possible to exhibit godliness and Christ-like love to her husband without seeing any change in him or desire to reconcile the relationship.

    I encourage you to find one or two spiritually mature women in your church to whom you can safely confide and ask them to help you navigate through this process biblically. I hope you are in a biblical church body and are receiving help and counsel from wise leaders who will pursue your husband’s heart. As much as I’d like to help you, responding through blog posts is a severely limited form of encouragement and accountability. But I pray God will use the words below to give you some direction.

    Let me encourage you to consider God’s heart when it comes to the issue of reconciliation and then consider God’s ultimate purpose for the marital relationship.

    God’s heart is one of redemption. Although I am sinful and vile, He welcomes me back when I turn in repentance to Him. He is in the ministry of reconciling hearts to Himself. All marriages consist of two sinners. We are all in need of great mercy. Biblical counselors will provide varying responses to the question of separation, divorce, and remarriage. Multiple opinions abound.

    But one thing is true: none of us deserve God’s forgiveness, mercy, or blessing—yet He gives it. None of us deserve His commitment of fidelity, yet He is unrelenting in it. None of us deserve second chances, or His patience, yet He is long suffering with each of us.

    I hope you will appeal to your husband to consider reconciliation, not on the basis of what you “deserve” but on the basis of God’s demonstration of mercy to all who will come to Him. Approach your husband with a commitment to partner with him to seek to build a loving and united relationship.

    God has called us to display His character. He’s called us to demonstrate to our mates His mercy, grace, truth, forbearance, patience, endurance and even joy in suffering (Colossians 3:12–19; Philippians 3:7–10; Ephesians 4:31–32).

    There are no pat answers or easy solutions. The truth is that God’s grace is sufficient for every need, but that doesn’t mean that every situation will result in a happy ending. When two individuals are willing to walk in a state of repentance and humility, depending on God’s grace in applying the truth of His Word to desperate situations—even then it takes much hard work and perseverance to overcome selfish tendencies and begin to reap the joy of a one-souled marriage. When only one mate is willing to work on the marriage, it may take years for the other mate to respond in kind—and perhaps he never will.

    God’s ultimate purpose for marriage is not our individual happiness—ultimately His purpose is for the world to see the gospel displayed (Ephesians 5:22-33). The amazing grace in all of it, however, is that when we establish the type of marital relationship described in this passage—we experience great joy and God receives great glory!

    My prayer is that God will fill you with hope as He gives you a glimpse of what He can do. I pray that you will communicate openly, honestly and in loving humility, your heart to your husband, even though he’s walked out.

    I pray that your mate will respond in receptivity and humility and with a willingness to make the hard choices of unselfishness and be willing to agree with you to go to whatever lengths are necessary in order to work toward reconciliation and establishing a Christ-centered love-filled marriage that reflects His character.

    No matter what your husband chooses to do, Christ is to be the center of your devotion and affections. Look to Him to fill your deepest needs.

    I pray that one day, we will hear of God’s miraculous intervention in, and supernatural provision for, your situation, which will bring great glory to Him and serve as a great witness to the power of the gospel.

    I (and hopefully other women who read your comment) am lifting up your marriage to the Lord in prayer. I’m unable to serve as a counselor or adviser for you, but can serve as an intercessor. I encourage you to seek biblical counsel within your church leadership.

    I am so very sorry, Guerda, and am praying for you now ~