How to Pray for Your Man

I remember the days when I would pray “God, get ‘im! Prayers,” you know, prayers from a heart of offense and self-pity: “Do you see how he’s treating me? Convict him . . . show him his hard heart . . . make him miserable!” (“Get ‘im” prayers). Today my conversations with the Lord about my husband sound a lot different.

If we’re willing to practice empathy, we can pray with greater understanding of our husband’s daily challenges and spiritual needs. If we pray for them in light of the grace we’ve been shown, prayers will take on a less self-centered tone and turn to humble and loving intercession.

As his bed-mate and life partner, you know your husband in a way no one else does, and you’re able to pray for him in a more intimate and knowledgeable way than anyone else on earth. Don’t take that unique position lightly, but press into your responsibility to love your husband well by interceding in spiritual battle by praying for him.

I don’t pray through these every day, but through the years some of the Scriptures I’ve prayed for my husband include:

* Prayer for personal integrity (Psalm 15:1–2)

* Prayer for hope, peace and joy (Romans 15:13)

* Prayer for wisdom and direction (Ephesians 1:17–19)

* Prayer for a marriage beyond our imagination (Ephesians 3:20–21)

* Prayer for fruitfulness in final years of ministry (Psalm 92:12–15)

These are just a few examples of prayers I have for LeRoy. I’ve learned that praying effectively can’t happen if I’m sinfully angry, filled with self-pity or self-centered motives, or holding onto known sin (James 1:20; Psalm 66:18).

Our husbands need us standing in the gap for them as prayer warriors on their behalf. The enemy would love nothing more than to see you spending your mental and emotional energy dismembering your husband, rather than going to your knees to intercede for his spiritual growth or salvation.

If you are married to a non-believer, the challenges that come as a result of spiritual disunity probably puts more stress on the marital relationship than any other conflict. Many women in that situation express that they face a temptation to use loud and obnoxious pressure tactics with the hopes of waking up a husband to his need for Christ. In fact one woman recently admitted, “I didn’t share my new faith with my husband; I pushed, forced, and shoved.” But this situation is one where we need to pray more than we preach.

When in Deep Waters . . . Pray and Wait

You may be in such a hard place that you have no desire to pray for your husband at all and “Get ‘im!” prayers are light compared to what you feel. You may be in deep waters without hope of rescue. I want to assure you, the Savior sees, knows, and cares. Micah 7 encourages us to wait for the God of salvation—put no confidence even in the members of our own household—but look to the Lord for our help.

[box]But as for me, I will look to the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. (Micah 7:7)[/box]

Pour out your heart to the Father and let Him know where you are; ask Him to give you His heart to intercede. The exciting and encouraging thing about praying for your husband is that God is on your side if you’re praying for your husband to be all God created him to be. God wants that more than you do, so you can pray in full confidence that what you’re asking is according to His will (1 John 5:14).

You may have prayed for your husband for years, but I want to encourage you to hang in there and continue interceding earnestly for your man.

Excerpt from Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior Moody Publishers © 2012 by Kimberly Wagner


  • J. Moore

    I really needed to read this on today. I’ve been feeling all of these emotions and am at a point where I feel hopeless and have no desire to pray for my spouse. Thank you for showing that prayer can indeed be used as a tool to hold on to hope.

  • Julie Musil

    Whoa. Kimberly, this post stopped me in my tracks. I’ve done all the wrong things in this area. Thank you for letting God speak through you to the rest of us. Thank you for reminding me that no matter how bleak the situation, my role is to pray.

  • Taylor Campbell

    Hi I know this is very random and crazy but my grandparents are Don and Belva Burrough in Hot Springs Arkansas! I know that we are related somehow but I’m not exactly sure of the connection! But I would love to reach out to you and find out more about that!
    Taylor Campbell

  • Kimberly Wagner

    Hello, Taylor ~

    Not random or crazy at all! It is a small world out here on the Internet, isn’t it? Yes, you and I are related. Your grandmother is my mom’s cousin, so you and I are family 🙂 I hope you’ll stay connected here, would love to meet you one day.


  • Kimberly Wagner

    Hello, J ~

    So sorry you’re struggling in your marriage right now, I hope you’ll check out this week’s blog posts on marriage and catch our programs on “Focus on the Family.” It might be helpful if you and your spouse could listen to those together and discuss what you hear.

    Praying that God will restore your hope with the knowledge that He is able!

  • Kimberly Wagner

    You are welcome, Guerda ~

    Keep loving Jesus and loving that man through prayer. May God redeem your marriage for His glory!

  • Kimberly B.

    Hello Kimberly,
    My husband of 24 years became involved with a woman at work. He started an affair and has left our home in order to continue his relationship with the OW ( She is married and has left her husband).
    My husband and I have a 21 year old son in college that still lives at home while attending college. He is devastated by his father’s choices.
    He left in the middle of December and has not called or reached out to me regarding our marriage or relationship. I have continued in prayer for my husband but I am reaching out to you for specific prayers or specific scriptures that would help me in my spiritual battle for my husband and our marriage. He has turned his back on God in order to be with the married woman. Can you recommend some books to read as well as the specific scripture verses? Should I continue to stand for my marriage? I do not know another woman that this has happened to so I don’t have a female to help guide me thru this storm. Thank you for your sweet heart and devotion to your marriage and helping others. You are an inspiration to many.

  • Wendy Werstiuk

    Look up Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Charlene Steinkempf.
    They are dedicated to standing for marriages and have resources.