10 Discussion Questions for Hurting Couples

It still blows us away that God would do something like this. Listening to Focus on the Family when we were a young couple, struggling to survive in our marital misery, we would’ve never dreamed that one day God would choose to not only transform our marriage, but He would place the story on their radio broadcast. He never ceases to amaze us.

Only God.

We admire and appreciate the kind folks at Focus on the Family. They’ve got a heart to minister to the broken and needy and have been faithfully doing that for almost four decades.

If you’ve never heard the radio program or checked out their website, I hope you’ll take time to do that today. If you go to their website, you’ll find tons of articles on marriage, parenting, life issues, adoption, and spiritual growth. You can also listen to an online audio version of recent radio programs from your computer . . . and they have a treasure chest full of great programs!

We’ve personally benefited from this ministry for several years and are honored to be their guests this week.

If you missed yesterday’s post with suggestions for listening to Thursday’s program, you might want to check that out. You can listen to today’s program online by clicking this link: Loving and Leading Your Strong Woman (Part 2).

We suggest that, if possible, you listen to these with your spouse. If you and your spouse are in a difficult place in your marriage right now, don’t apply pressure, but pray about gently suggesting an evening together to listen to both of these programs and then have a humble, but honest discussion about your relationship.

Suggested questions to discuss after listening together:

  1. What things could you relate to in this program?
  1. Is there anything that you’re struggling with that you’ve not been able to share with me?
  1. In what ways can I show greater appreciation for you?
  1. Have I hurt you in ways that you’ve not shared with me?
  1. What suggestions do you have for things that would help our relationship to thrive?
  1. What would help you to experience greater security in my love for you?
  1. What can I do to communicate my care for you?
  1. What can we do to develop a better communication pattern?
  1. This question is for the wife to ask: How can I encourage you as a spiritual leader?
  1. This question is for the husband to ask: In what ways would you like for me to demonstrate greater spiritual leadership?

If you want to listen to today’s broadcast, click on this link. You can find the program here for the next 31 days, after that it can be ordered from Focus on the Family.

You might find it helpful to go through our books together as a couple, or in a small group setting. Focus is offering the book for husbands if you send a donation (which is a great investment of your financial resources!). You can find “Fierce Women” (the book for wives) at their website or other online retailers.

Please join us in praying for men and women who hear this broadcast. Ask God to give you wisdom for how to share this with friends or family members who need to hear the program. We’re asking God to reach couples who are struggling in their marriage and fill them with hope for what He can do.

May God restore marriages that are at the critical place ours once was! Join us in asking Him to do a miraculous work?



  • Pat Hunter

    Thank you for this resource
    I am a spouse of a Pastor my husband and I are separated.
    We have been married for 22 years with two children. I lost respect for my husband and he eventually gave in to the enemy and has had several affairs. He continues to preach and we are basically waiting for the time when we can file for divorce. We live in North Carolina and there is a one year and a day waiting period before you can file.
    The Lord has shown me what I have done to my husband for which I am sorry my husband told he only cares for me because I am the mother of his children and he no longer loves me. For a long while I could not talk with anyone because I did not want anyone to know, but I have reached out to family, friends, and I professional counselor.
    I just ask for your prayers my children and myself

  • Kimberly Wagner

    Dear Pat ~

    I am so very sorry! My heart breaks for your loss, and yes, I will pray! I’m so glad you’ve reached out to others for support and counsel. I’m also praying that God will open your husband’s eyes to his sin and take responsibility for his destructive choices.

    Thank you for reaching out and for entrusting me with some of your painful story. My prayer is that God will fill you with hope as He gives you a glimpse of what He can do. I pray that you will communicate openly, honestly and in loving humility, your heart to your spouse. But no matter what your husband chooses to do, Christ is to be the center of your devotion and affections. You will experience deep joy as you depend on Him to fill your deepest needs.

    I pray that your mate will respond in receptivity and humility and with a willingness to make the hard choices of unselfishness and be willing to agree with you to go to whatever lengths are necessary in order to work toward reconciliation and establishing a Christ-centered love-filled marriage that reflects His character. I pray that he will completely cut off all sources of immorality.

    I pray that one day, we will hear of God’s miraculous intervention in, and supernatural provision for, your situation, which will bring great glory to Him and serve as a great witness to the power of the gospel.

    Praying for you and asking God to be your comfort and protection ~