First Infusion Update and More

Maybe secretly, you know deep, deep down inside, I was hoping for LeRoy to wake up the morning after his infusion and be pain-free. Of course, I’m always hoping for that, but getting this high-powered drug flowing through his veins might’ve raised my hope-level a bit more than usual.

But reality came crashing in within hours of the infusion.

Just a few hours after the infusion, his muscle spasms were incredible and he hardly slept that night because he was in so much pain.

Rather than waking pain-free, he woke up weak and barely moving.

Those super-powered antibodies that have been eating away at his spinal chord are probably not too happy to have attackers invading them! He had a rough 48 hours following the infusion, was in horrible pain and terribly weak, but by day three he seemed to be getting better. If he doesn’t get sick between now and February 19th, we’ll go back for his second infusion. The nurse told us that he may not see any real improvement until after the third infusion, but I’m hoping it will happen before that.

Again, it is another season of waiting. And this time the waiting is very still and quiet. We are staying in. Friends and family are staying away right now. They’re protecting us from any possibility of bringing germs our way.

Is the flu epidemic exploding in your area of the country?

It is here. Our state has seen 125 flu related deaths (as of this writing) and the medical community is telling us we haven’t seen the peak yet; it’s getting worse not better. With the deadliest flu season in more than a decade, wisdom compels us to follow the nurse’s order and stay away from people right now. It’s just too risky.

But again, none of this has taken God by surprise. He has reason in setting us down, keeping us in, and secluding us for a season.

It is obvious that He wants us to learn some important lessons in this season. There’s never a time in the Christian life for dormancy, so we’re seeking to grow in this winter of solitude. Most mornings are spent reading and studying. Some mornings are spent dealing with medical stuff like getting lab work done or fielding phone calls related to medical bills or appointments.

LeRoy’s pain prevents him from doing any physical therapy yet, and the doctor said we need to wait until his body is in “recovery” mode before starting that, so he’s really completely sedentary. But I’m plenty busy, even while being “home-bound.” There’s always a meal to fix, chores to do, laundry to fold, and de-clutter projects that call my name continually. There’s correspondence left undone, because I can never catch up and respond to all the messages and kind words.

Writing blog posts is now a luxury. It’s not that I have nothing on my heart to share, not at all, it’s that I have no time to sit and pour it all out on the keyboard. And this is another privileged activity that I’ve had to release. I no longer keep a regular writing schedule, but daily I ask the Lord to give little pockets of time to write, and if He provides them—I jump on it.

We’re settling in to our “new normal.” It’s quiet, a much simplified schedule, a bit lonely, simpler, not hectic, and thankfully, it’s slow. We’ve run so fast and hard for so long that slow is a nice reprieve in this difficult season. We’re still and listening. And waiting.

But isn’t the surrendered life all about releasing and waiting? And that’s what it means to follow Christ, isn’t it? Wherever He leads I’ll go . . . that was a refrain from one of my favorite childhood hymns. I made this promise to Him then, so many years ago, and I hope to keep that promise today and for as long as I have breath.

“Wherever He leads, I’ll go . . .

I’ll follow my Christ who loves me so, wherever He leads I’ll go.”

And that’s what we’re trying to do. Our lives look completely different than they did six months ago. No, that’s not quite right, let me restate that. Our schedules look completely different. But at the core, our lives are still the same. Our greatest desire and motive of life is to glorify God in the daily grind—whether that’s in a conference setting, at a coffee shop with a friend we’re discipling, playing a game with our little ones, or now—settled in a solitary season.

All that the Lord is doing is for a good purpose and we truly desire to learn what He knows we need. We so desire to display His amazing grace—in whatever way He chooses. In surrender and waiting—and wherever He leads. We belong to Him and it’s His choice what He does with us.

[box]I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me (Galatians 2:20).[/box]

Where and how is He asking you to follow Him today?

Photo by Tim Foster on Unsplash


  • Pamela

    Thank you for showing us how we should be following our beloved Christ, in this season of life, the one each of us finds ourselves in. Praying for your strength and stamina, and that God will continue to use you and Leroy mightily, for His kingdom purposes!

  • Jackie Price

    Praying for protection from illness for both of you and that the infusions would be successful.

    God is teaching me patience. We’re on the mission field and having to move due to the landlady selling the house we’ve rented for 9 years. We still haven’t found a place to live even though I’m packing I have no idea where I’m going. Feeling a bit like Abraham these days.

  • Gail

    The LORD is calling me to reach out More to the lost and hurting. So many around us who need prayer, and Jesus! You are included in my heartfelt prayers for recovery, strength, peace of mind, and freedom from pain, and compete healing. May the peace of Jesus continue to cover you both. We CARE!

  • Gail

    Praying for you now Jackie. God bless you with His choice of places to live for His glory and your peace! May he also bless you in your work for Him!

  • Rebekah Beene

    Still praying and believing with you and for you both. My hubby has his first day back at work after 8 months. It has been a long wait especially for him. Stroke, three surgeries and now… We trust that God’s timing is perfect. What else could we do? Praying for miracles for LeRoy every day because who knows but God?

  • Lucidio Morales-Rivas

    I pray to Jesus Christ, the Lord, the Holly Trinity, and since I am Venezuelan and live in Venezuela, and since I am a Roman Catholic, I also pray to the Saints and the Angels of God. So I claim to God, His Saints and Angels for the well being and healing of your husband and all those who need to recover or get back their health. I also ask Doctor of Medicine Jose Gregorio Hernandez (God is Servant) to intercede or mediate before God for your husband’S health. (I’m sorry if my English is not as good as it should be). In God we trust. God bless us all.

  • Kathy Phillips

    Praying for you & Leroy.Even as you write about yoursimpler life God’s still using both of you.Tx for encouraging me to study my Bible more than I have been. Love the Wagner’s

  • Vivian Etherington

    Kim, continuing to carry you and LeRoy to the throne of grace! I’ love that it is called that in the Scripture ! Thankful you had the opportunity to write this post. God is using you even in your season of isolatuIon through your posts! I know they impact me– yours and LeRoy’s strength in the Lord, your trust in Him, His faithfulness in answering prayer, your desire to always glorify God even in these very tough times you are walking through! Much love!

  • Sandra Diehl

    As always my heart is touched so much by your words and testimony. You say so well so often what I feel even though things are very different for you than for me. God is God and is speaking and doing a wonderful work. Thanks for your faithfulness and encouraging words. Think of you both so much and lift you up. That level of pain long term is so hard to think of. So sorry and so praying for this time of pain and illness to pass.
    May God bless and keep you both so very near as I know He does.
    Love you lots,

  • Gary Lynn Corker

    My heart is broken for you and Leroy! Yet, too, filled with hope. I would like a snail mail address please. I have a little something I need to send you.

  • Sheila Bair

    I’m so sorry for all the pain… for LeRoy’s body and you watching it. Praying for the Lord to be merciful to LeRoy, to bring relief and restore function. I ask that He will bless you as you are faithfully modeling “rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and in everything gives thanks.”

  • Duke Denty

    I read from 2 Corinthians 12:9 this morning
    and was reminded of Gods grace and how it
    applies in this season of waiting for Leroy.
    That the power of our Lord Jesus is resting
    upon him right now.
    I’m praying that the second infusion on the
    19th won’t be as difficult for Leroy and will
    allow both of you some much needed relief.

  • Xenia Rodriguez

    I’m reading this as I sit receiving my first Remicade Infusion. Providence? Surely. Prayers for you both.

  • Leanne

    I’m continuing to pray for you and LeRoy! Psalms 130 has been what the Lord continues to impress upon my heart this year. May His word infuse your heart with quiet trust and strength as you surrender to His purpose for your lives. I will continue to intercede for you! Xoxoxo Love you!