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The Cows Aren’t Concerned

The cows in the pasture were settled into the grass in a lazy clump (no social distancing with them) to ruminate their morning feeding. We passed them on our way to LeRoy’s injection last week and, as he looked over to see the pleasant scene, he commented, “The cows aren’t concerned about the pandemic.” We had a smile together at that thought and talked about how all of creation is groaning under the destructive effects of the fall, but it isn’t worried about it—the cows continue doing what they were created to do . . . the birds continue giving glory to God through their bird-song-praises, the spring buds continue to bloom, and creation continues to fulfill its purpose—even while Covid-19 is paralyzing the world.

All of creation continues to glorify God by fulfilling its purpose—even through a global pandemic.

And there is something that is strangely comforting in that. Seeing the familiar function of our well-ordered creation provides a sense of “normalcy” that an afflicted soul needs. And we are all afflicted under the destructive effects of the fall (the “fall from the world’s state of sinless perfection and beauty” where God first placed mankind).

But, although the world is groaning, although the virus infects, loss invades, and suffering continues its relentless march—creation is still at work bringing God glory.

We had a disappointing visit this week with the specialist who did LeRoy’s injections. Because LeRoy hasn’t seen any improvement yet, the doctor is concerned that he has scar tissue on his spinal cord (the neurologist has also mentioned concerns about this) and if so, that would prevent this procedure from being effective. It was not what we were expecting to hear. As the doctor went on to explain that his only option now might be to try to manage the pain with medication, it felt like a cold blanket of discouragement fell across our shoulders.

Once again, we’ve ridden the roller-coaster of hope for improvement through treatment, only to hit the bottom of the descent with no solution in sight.

As we made the trip back home, we passed the same cows that we’d seen the week before—still undisturbed and enjoying their green pasture. The sun shone brilliantly, as we discussed the disappointing news. All of creation was undisturbed in fulfilling God’s purpose in bringing glory to their Master—as it felt like our world was crumbling again.

My determination to continue crying out for mercy for my husband, deepens with each disappointment. When I cry out, I remind my faithful Father of His good and gracious character (as Moses did in Numbers chapter 14, or Hezekiah in 2 Kings 19), and I appeal to Him on that basis. I beg Him for LeRoy to be able to glorify Him through this affliction, but more than that, to glorify Him through a healthy life.

I will not stop asking for this mercy as long as I have breath in my body.

The day after that disappointing appointment, LeRoy began his day as he does every morning: in the Word, in prayer, and with worship. And, as we prayed together, LeRoy voiced this: “Your faithfulness endures to all generations; You have established the earth, and it stands fast. By your appointment they stand this day, for all things are your servants” (from Psalm 119:90—91).

As our prayer time concluded, my mind was brought back to those cows, to the song birds, the blooming fields, and the brilliant sun. They are God’s servants, giving Him glory by doing what they were created to do. We are God’s servants, seeking to glorify Him by doing what we are created to do—to display His beauty and goodness. Today, we are not doing that in the way I’d thought we would in this season. But, I pray, that in some small way, we are fulfilling our purpose—and that is the same purpose for each of us—to bear much fruit and thereby bring God glory.

Thank you for the many prayers you’ve lifted for us, for faithful and heart-felt intercession. We are humbled and amazed as we read comments from you and we sense that we’re upheld by steadfast prayer warriors. Please, don’t stop asking God for mercy for my man.

Will you join me in that?

24 Comments

  • Stephanie Mitchael Trotter

    My heart is broken with this news but encouraged by your faithfulness. Trusting God through every twist and turn of this experience is an amazing testimony to the world. I’m continuing to pray for healing.
    My love to you and LeRoy.

  • Dale Rewa

    Thank you for your encouraging words through another devastating disappointment. Your focus on Jesus and the fact that your husband continues to dwell in Gods word builds my own faith.
    Your thoughts on the cows were perfect… cows are a big part of the story of my life in the past 11 years.
    Blessings on both of you. ♥️

  • Caroline

    Dear Kimberly,
    Words can hardly express my heart but I will try my best…I am so sorry to hear of the disappointment thus far with injections but I am continuing alongside you to lift LeRoy to the Father for healing and relief from his terrible pain. I’ve just caught up with your last few posts and praying over all your requests. I’m praying alongside you in the closet too. I have only met you briefly once with my dear friend Leanne at a retreat, but you have always been a precious “mentor” to me through your writing and speaking and testimony that I’ve seen online. I even read a post this morn that you wrote in 2012 that counseled my heart in some matters with my husband. You are precious! LeRoy has of course been a special part of this, too, as he has been such a faithful and loving husband. I’m praying for you both earnestly now. May the Father continue to hold you in and through all of this.
    In His love,
    Caroline Fuhrmann, Florida

  • Sandra Diehl

    I will not stop praying and standing with you both. I was thinking about how good God is that He brought you to such a close place with each other. Imagine how horrible if You had not yielded to Gods good work in your marriage . It could of been so much worse to go through this time . But God did do a good work and together you stand as 1 . Much love to you both 🙏♥️

  • Lori Merrill

    I am always encouraged when I read your posts. You both are faithful to God in the midst of difficulty and suffering. Thank you for sharing and allowing people like me to catch a glimpse (because I know there is so much more) of your journey. I am interceding for you both as you asked. God bless you both and may God’s mercy rain down on you this very day! Lord, bring these precious servants of yours relief, healing and comfort. We beg you Lord, Jehovah Rapha, as the One who heals…come quickly Lord. Amen.

  • Kim Petrarca

    Yes dear heart, I have also noticed how the birds don’t care either…..they just sing every morning. I went thru a hard time a few years ago and after working graveyard shift and getting off at 7am tired and disoriented these birds were just so happy, singing to the Lord. I used to holler at them Why y’all so happy? But I realize the lesson and the comfort…praying for y’all. Just keep swimming 🏊‍♀️

  • Mercy Atuhairwe

    I thank God for the strength that He has given you, holding your hand through this season.
    I am from Uganda but got to know you from Revive Our Hearts.

    May the Great Physician stretch His Hand upon your husband and heal him by His strips.

    “Oh Great Physician for all the power that you are known to be God, arise and declare total healing in LeRoy’s body from the crown of his head to the soles of his feet.
    In the mighty name of Jesus we have prayed.
    Amen”

    May you receive new grace

    Love Mercy

  • Kim Magnus

    Continuing to pray for LeRoy and for you as well. The steadfastness that you both display points to the Savior Who sustains you.❤️

  • Kathy Leverett

    Kim, I am so sorry. Thank you for always pointing us back to God’s goodness even in the midst of such suffering! You and LeRoy have been such faithful followers, and I will continue to pray for healing.

  • Mary Stuart

    Great Physician, heal Your precious servant. Give peace to all who love him. Provide the medical team wisdom and ability beyond their ability.

  • Donna Doverspike

    Kim and Le Roy,
    I will continue to pray for you both that you will be shown mercy and know that healing is coming.

    Hugs
    Donna

  • Dian C Sims

    Heal Leroy O Lord and he will be healed save him and he will be saved for you are our praise Jeremiah 17:14

  • Rose Betty

    Hey dear, glad for the update.
    As I was reading through I felt convicted to tell you to start thanking God for the healing of your hubby. You have prayed for mercy, God has seen and heard your cry. Now arise and start thanking Him for the healing of your man. Just trust and believe in God healing power and thank Him. Let the Spirit of God help and guide you. God has a plan already. God bless you.

  • kimberlywagner

    Hello, Caroline ~

    Thank you for your kind encouragement and especially for your prayers. I remember meeting you with precious Leanne, such a long time ago, but what a sweet fellowship we had briefly. I’m so thankful the Lord has used some of what we’ve walked through to minister to you. May you continue to deepen and grow in your understanding of Christ’s amazing love for you!

  • kimberlywagner

    Hello, dear friend, it’s good to hear from you, Sandra! Yes, LeRoy and I have mentioned that many times. How gracious of the Father to transform our marriage–more than 20 years ago now . . . what a grace gift from Him. Thank you so much for continuing to pray for us, so very grateful for that.

    Much love to you ~

  • kimberlywagner

    Hello, Mercy–what a beautiful name you bear!

    I’m so very grateful for your prayers, and so good to hear from you all the way from Uganda! My husband preached there years ago, may God heal him and allow him to return to your country again one day. I’m so glad you’re connected to Revive Our Hearts–such great discipleship resources and truth there.

    May God richly bless you, Mercy!

  • Glenda McLearen

    Kim:

    I can’t imagine the disappointment you feel- the hope of help and an answer to tearful prayers. But like you expressed- God is a God of order and He created all of creation to glorify Him. On this side of glory, we do not see the purpose for this to be happening to LeRoy. We can only continue to beseech Him for healing and lift up our hands to praise Him. “Even if…..” some words seem to stand out in the scriptures. “But God” is one of my favorites. Another is “but even if” – what the young men said before they were thrown into the furnace of fire. They declared that God was able to save them and they declared their faith in Him. The Bible says …”But even if”…..evidence of a faith that is steadfast and relies on the One they believe in. I pray too for healing, for relief from the pain and disabling condition that has befell LeRoy. And strength and perseverance for you. Ya’ll are so prayed for!