Fierce Women

Do you ever get the idea that being a godly wife means you need to be a mousy doormat? Be as unnoticeable as a doorknob? Or have a personality transplant?

Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior, smashes that idea. No matter whether you’re an extrovert or more introverted—Kimberly Wagner believes women are created to be a compelling force.


You may not see yourself as beautifully fierce or even slightly strong, but what if God has placed a powerful fierceness within you, within every woman? Kim admits her fierceness became a source of conflict in her marriage, but the relationship dynamic totally changed when she discovered her fierce strengths could be used to encourage and inspire her husband. She invites you to come alongside as she takes an honest look at a destructive relationship dynamic and casts a vision for the transformation God can bring to troubled marriages.



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  1. Posted by Michelle Morrow


    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello Michelle,

      Thank you for your honesty. Do you have a copy of Fierce women? I hope you do and that you’ll read and apply what is in the book. No matter how successful our husbands are, we can strip them of their confidence and desire to lead. My husband recently spoke about this on the radio program: Chris Fabry Live. You can listen to that program online here:

      You might find that program helpful to hear a husband’s perspective on this issue.

      I encourage you to check out the book and the posts on marriage on this website. Michelle, when you’re in the midst of the battle, please try to remember loving your husband matters more than winning the debate or argument. Love isn’t something we can give in our own strength, ask for grace to love your husband well.

      Pausing to pray for you now ~

      • Posted by Brian

        I was brought to your site from a FamilyLife session/podcast I recently listened to. from there, I came across this posting that references your husband’s perspective, of which I would be interested in…much of what you discussed and post on your site reflect much of how I see things unfolding in my marriage and home. Unfortunately, I believe some of this has impacted my stepson, as well as the one son we have at home yet.
        I was unable to locate your husbands story and wondered if you can redirect me to that.

        I applaud and thank you for sharing your story for God’s glory and to impact many others like myself.

    • Posted by chris fogarty

      I listened to your broadcast on Focus on the Family with your husband. It really spoke to me and my husband. My husband’s personality is not meek, he’s quite dominant. So, with both of us wanting to be in charge, it’s quite difficult. How did you truly change? I want to be a submissive wife and not be controlling. How long did it take you to sincerely change and what did you do? I have been struggling with this for several years and not making much headway. I’ve read a ton of books and listened to a ton of broadcasts and lots and lots of prayers. My husband isn’t seeing much change. I contradict him all the time.I have to force myself to keep my mouth shut. Why hasn’t God changed me and my heart? HELP!

  2. Posted by Lisa

    Thank you for writing the book! Wow it spoke to me in a fierce kinda way! It’s powerful message will help in the transformation of my marriage!

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello Lisa ~

      Thank you for the comment, I’m so glad God used the book to speak to you. I hope you’ll stay connected here on the blog. You can subscribe and the posts will be emailed to your inbox Monday through Friday. (Subscribe gadget is on the sidebar scroll up and look to the left).

      May you see God do an Ephesians 3:20 work in your marriage!


  3. Posted by Jennifer

    Thanks for being so transparent and writing “Fierce Women” I am reading this as we speak! I am taking my time though as it’s such great material and I WANT TO GET IT! Every ounce of this book/your journey speaks to ME! I want dramatic change in my marriage, I’m asking God for His help in this transformation just as you did! Please pray for me in this journey and thanks again for sharing your testimony I have such HOPE in my heart! God Bless you Kim!

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello Jennifer ~

      Thanks for taking the time to leave such a kind comment and for inviting me to pray with you about your marriage. I’m excited to hear your desire for God to bring transformation.

      As you begin applying things God is showing you, I encourage you to not lose heart and to always cry out to God for “Help!” Ask Him to fill you with His empowering grace to love your husband well and to choose the way of humility rather than pride. Especially cry out for this when you are at a moment of temptation, wanting to lash out, or give in to anger and self-pity, wanting to demand your own way, or exert a destructive fierceness.

      Also, I encourage you to ask your husband’s forgiveness for specific ways you’ve sinned against him. Perhaps ask him to view our marriage video with you (you can find it under the “Videos” tab above). This can open up dialogue that may be helpful in starting a process of understanding.

      Also, I often suggest that couples listen to our interview with Nancy Leigh DeMoss where we are sharing our story. You can find that link by going through the “Welcome” tab, then scroll down to see the button for ROH Radio, our marriage story is the first one listed, just click on:

      A Hurting Couple Finds True Hope (September 10-17, 2012) LeRoy and Kim share their marital story.

      It will take you directly to those radio programs.

      Jennifer, I hope you’ll let me know how it is going. I would love for you to leave a comment when you’re finished with the book under the “Your Voice” tab. Also, if you haven’t signed up to get my daily blog post, I hope you’ll plug in your email address to the “Subscribe” box so you can stay connected here.

      I am pausing now to ask God to empower you with His grace, to fill you with the knowledge of His will, to direct your heart and mind in the way of love when you are tempted to walk in the flesh. I’m asking Him to do an Ephesians 3:20 size work in your marriage:

      Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

      Blessings dear one ~

  4. Posted by Maggie Christianson

    This book rocked my world! I am bursting at the seams to share it with several married women I know, specifically my sisters. We are daughters of a woman who had to become fierce after our father abandoned us. This book made me see that I don’t need to be that kind of fierce woman. My husband is here and perfectly capable of being the leader in our family.

    I am so grateful to you for writing this book and I am so grateful to God to putting it in my hands! In less than a month my 11 year marriage has completely turned around! I pray that we can “stay the course” and continue to develop these new, healthy habits and ways of doing life together.

    The challenges are still there, of course. I appreciate your advice to Jennifer to cry out for help in times of temptation. I am currently struggling with a situation where I feel my husband’s decision is a selfish one and am tempted to “let him have it” or give him the silent treatment. I will take your advice and give it to God and pray about it.

    I was wondering, do you have any advice regarding how to recommend this book to other women? My fear is that they will be defensive and I will offend them. My brother’s marriage is a mess and they are in a very desperate situation. I took the risk and recommended it to my sister-in-law and also shared parts of it with my sister. I am also praying that the Lord would open their hearts and give me wisdom to know how to handle this.

    Thank you again for this incredible book!


    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello Maggie ~

      Wow, what a huge encouragement and blessing to read your comment! I am so thankful and rejoicing in what God is doing in your marriage! I am praying for you right now, asking God to bring His truth to mind, to flood you with grace to obey, at those times when you are tempted to revert back to the “old Maggie.” You might find it helpful to do the Husband 30-Day Challenge from Revive Our Hearts:

      As far as sharing the book with other women, I understand the struggle . . . I have the same concern when I pass it on, especially being the author! 🙂 But like my husband told me this weekend (after I gave it to some women who are definitely fierce and their marriages are struggling), “If it impacts one woman, it is worth the risk of handing it out to others who may not appreciate it.”

      I suggest you simply pass it on to other women by sharing how it has impacted your life and explaining that you think the book is helpful for understanding how to relate to men whether or not you are having difficulty in your marriage. I’m so glad you are sharing it with others!

      Thanks for sharing, Maggie, I hope you’ll stay connected through the blog!

  5. Posted by Kevin

    I came across this book through Tim Kellers twitter. My wife of two years is destructively fierce. She won’t read this book and is offended by any suggestion that she needs to change. I’m getting discouraged and losing hope. How do I as a man encourage her to seek this out?

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello Kevin,

      First of all, I’m so very sorry for the pain and hopelessness you are experiencing. Just this morning, I was writing in my journal and God took me back to recall how, for years, my husband and I were caught in that destructive cycle. Through those years I believed my husband was the problem, not me. This morning, God reminded me that He was at work (way back then) in my marriage, but I couldn’t see it. So, let me encourage you, God is listening, He is hearing your prayers and He desires to rescue your marriage and to create a unity and fellowship between you and your life that truly glorifies Him.

      Let me encourage you to make some tough choices. Your wife needs you to take a humble, yet strong leadership role in your marriage. Let her hear clearly from you that you love her, you cherish her, you are committed to leading her in the biblical role God has commissioned you with (Eph. 5:22–33). Take gentle steps of manly leadership, pray over her regularly, lifting up “non-condemning” prayers (you will understand what I mean if you read the book, I talk about “God get ‘im” prayers on p. 133) where you pray for specific needs or struggles that you know she is facing (challenges at her job, physical difficulty, financial needs, etc), and humble yourself in prayer with her by you confessing your need and desire to love her as Christ loves the Church. You may already be doing these things, but if not, please begin today laying a foundation of spiritual leadership that will give you a platform to speak truth in love to her.

      Approach your wife humbly asking her for input. Invite her to share with you things she sees in you that do not display the character of Christ. Be prepared to receive what she says graciously, listen to her heart, and patiently consider what she shares with you. After she see observes that you’ve received her input (if she shares anything), ask her if you can share a video clip with her. I don’t know if you’ve watched our video (you can pull it up by clicking on the “Videos” tab at the top of the page, and the “Marriage Miracle” video is the first one), it tells our story and I share how God opened my eyes to my heart issues.

      Enter this conversation carefully. Spend time in prayer and the Word seeking direction and timing before holding this conversation (James 1:19–20). Be sure your desire to confront your wife stems from right motives—spiritual restoration for your marriage and love for wife as your sister in Christ—not in order to “fix things” more to your liking (1 Thessalonians 5:14–15; Hebrews 12:14–15).

      Search your own heart first—is there anything in your own life that needs to be confessed to God or your wife (Matthew 7:5)? If you have unresolved issues you need to deal with those before having this conversation.

      I encourage you to read the book yourself, it will give you a better understanding of your wife, but also some practical help in building a unified relationship.

      My prayer for you, Kevin, is that God will step into your marriage relationship and bring the transformation that comes only through His gracious work. May you see Him do an Ephesians 3:20 work in your lives!

      “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.”

      Pausing to pray for you now ~

  6. Posted by Tommy

    For almost 18 years I have been married to a Fierce Woman, though she was stealthy about it until the last few years. Different life events and marital issues released her ferocity. I was pummeled by judgment, condemnation, disapproval, manipulation, inflexibility, gossip, betrayal, and eventually complete detachment. The onslaught was intense. As believers, for years we always insisted that divorce was not an option, we never even used the word. But this summer, my wife blindsided me by filing for divorce.

    I am a child of God in whom Christ lives, with faults and flaws that presented challenges for my wife throughout our marriage. But there was no infidelity, no abuse, nothing that matched what scripture says about when divorce is permitted. We each are responsible for the state of our marriage, but she is driving this process.

    The day she filed, I made an immediate decision to extend peace, grace and loving kindness to my wife, even though it was the exact opposite of what the “flesh” side of me wanted to do. Believe it or not, after 5 months we are still living in the same house with our kids, with logistics preventing the divorce process from advancing. I am praying for a miracle, which I know God can provide, even though He may not.

    Last weekend, I saw your book sitting on her nightstand. At first the title made me think that it was going to be about women fighting for and claiming their independence from men. When I read the summary of the book on Amazon, and browsed the reviews and comments, I was floored. Fierce Women was about humility, reconciliation, and submission… what the heck was this book doing in her room?

    I downloaded the book from Amazon for my tablet, and am about halfway through. Kimberly, this could have been a book about my wife and my marriage. You have absolutely nailed it. Your use of EMASCULATION (which is spot on) and APPRECIATION (which has been absent for years) have literally left me sobbing while going through each part of the acronyms.

    I don’t know if my wife is actually reading your book, or who gave it to her. With her coldness, inflexibility and determination to follow through with the divorce, I can’t imagine it was a matter of her deciding on her own to purchase it. I’m trusting that God is working behind the scenes, and perhaps someone from our church asked her to read it. I really pray she does.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. It has been a real encouragement in a violent storm.

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello Tommy,

      I am so very sorry to hear about your marital situation, but I am joining you in asking God to do a transforming work that will bring Him great glory. Please read my comment to Kevin (above) and consider some of the suggestions that I shared with him.

      I’m praying that your wife reads the book and receives what God desires to say to her through it. I hope your church will come alongside you both and offer biblical help and counsel.

      My husband and I are praying for your marriage. May you see God bring a beautiful reconciliation and establish a new relationship of unity, sacrificial love, and humility.

      “Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:19

      • Posted by Tommy

        Thank you for your prayers. You know, the amazing thing about going through this storm so far is that God has shown Himself to me in wonderful ways. While I would prefer that He change my circumstances, instead He has changed me by pouring out love and grace.

        As I said, God can certainly perform a reconciliation miracle, but He may not. As Scott Krippayne sang, “Sometimes He calms the storm, and other times He calms His child.”

  7. Posted by Angela

    I just finished reading Fierce Women, and throughout the pages I saw my reflection. Although, no longer married, God placed a wonderful Godly man in my life to help me to become the Soft Warrior I should be. I have always been looked to as the strong, in control person in the family; there to be a hedge of protection around the family. Therefore, I thought I had to be direct and controlling to those who were not doing what was right. Your story and my new friend have showed me I don’t have to be that way.

    Thanks for sharing your story. I am sharing your story with the women in my bible study and definitely my mother. She, like me, has some growing to do.

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello Angela ~

      I’m so glad God has used the book in your life and that you are sharing it with others. Thank you so much for taking the time to stop in and leave an encouraging comment. I hope you’ll stay connected here by subscribing to receive the daily blog in your inbox!

      Blessings ~

  8. Kimberly, Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing the Fierce Woman. My daughter read it first (after 2012 True Woman conference) and then said Mom you need to read this. A little late, I thought – been married (happily) for 50 years… Surprisingly I discovered things about my husband he was glad for me to know including you are never too old to grow closer. The blog link is below, and I will be passing the book on to a dear friend at this year’s True Woman!

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Delores ~

      I’m only today seeing your comment that you left here several days ago. First, thank you for your encouragement and I’m so glad you left your blog link so I could read your kind review of “Fierce Women.” I had just finished reading your review when I went to today’s True Woman blog post by Lindsay Swartz and read a comment left there by you. I probably would not have made the name connection, but since I’d just read your comment here and the review, I immediately recognized your name on the True Woman site. It was shocking to say the least. Delores, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I’m not sure when, or if, you will see this comment from me.

      I don’t have access to the email addresses connected with the blog or I would email you. I am trying to connect the web administrator to get your email address and personally contact you.

      Delores, it is no accident that I read your comment on the TW blog and read of your daughter’s passing. Please know the Father has placed you on my heart and I will be praying earnestly for you. From reading a few posts on your website, I know you walk with God and know His Word. I’m praying you cling to His truth in this dark hour. He sees all you are facing, and He cares. He has not abandoned your family and there is purpose in what He is allowing.

      “The LORD is good, A stronghold in the day of trouble, And He knows those who take refuge in Him.” (Nahum 1:7)

      I am praying for you, friend. At some point, you might read this blog post from earlier this year:

      Know that the Father has planted you in my heart and I will be praying for you and your family ~

  9. Posted by Tori

    Thank you so much for this book! It hit on so many things in my life! I learned so much, and God is teaching me how to become a BEAUTIFULLY fierce woman, controlled by Him! I want to share what I learned and would love to do a small-group study with this book…are there any plans for a study guide or DVD study series that can help in using this in small groups?

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Tori ~

      Thank you so much for your encouraging comment. I’m so thankful God used the book in your life! There are several women who’ve contacted met to let me know that they are using “Fierce Women” as a small group study. And, yes, there has been discussion about a study guide and materials to help with that, but currently there is nothing ready. I encourage you to not wait, but gather your group, use the discussion questions at the end of each chapter and take excerpts from the book that God used to deal with your heart and share!

      If you get a group started, I would be glad to Skype or Face time with you for your opening session and pray for you all. I’ve done that with other groups who are doing “Fierce Women” as a study. Please stay in touch and let me know what God does!


  10. Posted by Stacey

    I am currently reading your book. I have listened to the radio broadcasts that share your story. Thank you for allowing God to use you to help others. I have been in a destructive cycle with my husband for most of our marriage (21 years). We have had great times together and we have had rough times; however, the last five months have been some of the toughest. God is opening my eyes to how critical I have been – even to the point of it spilling over to my 15 year old son. I am thankful that He has opened my eyes but I need to be honest. I’m struggling! Just this weekend, I so wanted to tell my husband somethings that were bothering me regarding his actions; however, I did not because I was afraid it would only come out as criticism. So I was quiet most of the weekend which signals to him that something is bothering me. I seen now how that behavior has been very manipulative. How do I share with him what is on my heart when it has the potential of coming across as negative and “just something else he needs to work on” (his words)? He is very perceptive. I wear my emotions on my sleeve in that when something is on my mind, I can’t hide it.

    I would appreciate your prayers.


    • Posted by Stacey

      Dear Kim
      Another thought came to me after writing my original comment. Another reason I am struggling is that the thought keeps coming that says “If I completely surrender my desire to control, surrender my fierceness, etc, is that letting him off the hook?” In other words, I am still fighting the thought that we are both at fault. I feel horrible in admitting that I’m struggling with that but I have to be honest. Why can’t I just focus on where I am wrong?!? I so desperately want to NOT be this way. But I have to be completely honest…I think I’m afraid of the work and commitment it’s going to take. I know that’s probably the enemy trying to persuade me that it’s too hard, etc because I KNOW if I surrender and allow God to get a hold of me, and the Holy Spirit does a mighty work in me, our marriage will dramatically change for the better. But there is a part of me that wants the “instant” fix, the flip of a switch. But I know it’s taken many years to get this way. Did you ever struggle and slip backwards or was it an immediate change for you? (I am only in chapter 3 of the book right now) I appreciate any advice you can give.

      • Posted by Carrie DeLong

        I promise I’m not going to hijack Kim’s blog but sister-friend … KEEP READING. Chapter 3 is a great start. I love to call myself ‘the Fiercest’ because I had those same thoughts – how in the world can I let him off the hook? A few thoughts for you:
        1. You don’t always need to let things go. There is a time and place for appropriate confrontation. Some of those guidelines are in the back of the book. That being said, ‘timing is very important’… Can some of these confrontations wait? Here’s why:
        2. Read on and learn about building a ‘platform of influence’ in your husband’s life. After 21 years of destructive fierceness, he just might not be ready for you to confront him. You’re still in the process of creating a ‘safe place’ to discuss things. Sometimes issues need to be addressed ASAP, but I’m guessing that if you’re anything like me, some of the things that are most hurtful or irritating about him right now can be brought safely to the Lord’s attention (btw – He already sees it!) and you can pour your heart out to HIM. In the times we can’t or don’t trust another’s heart, we can always trust God’s heart toward us. Practical thing that helped me? GET A JOURNAL. When God starts changing hearts, you’ll be encouraged when you read your progress.
        3. You aren’t losing yourself. You aren’t letting him off the hook. You’re following Christ’s example of humility. Remind yourself of the humility with which Jesus served those who hated him. If you know Christ, the same Spirit that raised Him from the dead is alive in you! You can do this.

        I’m right there with you in this Fierce Women journey – studying through the book for a second time – and I’ll tell you that old habits (even with the best intentions) die hard. It has been about a year and a half and the changes have been slow. Very slow. But worth it. This isn’t a 12-step fix it plan, but a lifestyle of obedience to God’s Word in an area that the culture around you is SCREAMING an opposing message. Give yourself some grace and take it day by day … but for GOODNESS SAKE … keep reading. You’re about to get to the best part, Fierce gal. Don’t quit. You’re well on your way and God is working! 🙂

        • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

          Carrie, thank you dear friend for sharing honestly about your struggles. You’ve given Stacey some wisdom here and I hope she’s encouraged by hearing from a sister who has applied these principles, and hung in there through some tough challenges, to experience the transforming grace of God!

          It made me smile to see you coming alongside a fellow fierce woman to bring a word of truth and grace 🙂

    • Posted by Stacey

      Dear Kim
      This is Stacey again – after I hit “submit” I had another thought. I tried to submit it using my yahoo email account but it would not allow me. So I am using a different email to submit this comment.

      Another thought came to me after writing my original comment. Another reason I am struggling is that the thought keeps coming that says “If I completely surrender my desire to control, surrender my fierceness, etc, is that letting him off the hook?” In other words, I am still fighting the thought that we are both at fault. I feel horrible in admitting that I’m struggling with that but I have to be honest. Why can’t I just focus on where I am wrong?!? I so desperately want to NOT be this way. But I have to be completely honest…I think I’m afraid of the work and commitment it’s going to take. I know that’s probably the enemy trying to persuade me that it’s too hard, etc because I KNOW if I surrender and allow God to get a hold of me, and the Holy Spirit does a mighty work in me, our marriage will dramatically change for the better. But there is a part of me that wants the “instant” fix, the flip of a switch. But I know it’s taken many years to get this way. Did you ever struggle and slip backwards or was it an immediate change for you? (I am only in chapter 3 of the book right now) I appreciate any advice you can give. (would you be opposed to emailing me at my yahoo account? I was wondering if it would be easier to “dialogue” that way??


      • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

        Hello Stacey ~

        I read your comment a few days ago and have been praying for you and looking for the right time to reply. I love how God supplied Carrie as a fierce-sister-friend to come alongside in my delay 🙂

        Carrie gave you some honest and helpful counsel and I hope you’ll consider her recommendations. I would much rather sit and share with you over a cup of tea than to attempt to dialogue through email, but we may not have that option . . . let me encourage you to make your way through the entire book (praying and asking God for grace all along the way), and then we’ll see what we can do about connecting through email.

        One thing I’ve learned, friends and mentors can be helpful truth-speakers, but the very best counselor is the Holy Spirit. Appeal to Him to open your eyes to anything you need to see in your own heart that you’ve not yet realized. Be quick to confess your sin and seek repentance. The way of Christ is the road of humility.

        I am so very sorry to hear about your friends who are making choices to separate and divorce. The enemy hates a united Christian marriage and seeks to divide at every point. I commend you for your commitment, and I pray that you will experience the beautiful unity, deep love, and close companionship that God desires for you and your husband to know. He is able! Perhaps one day you and your husband will be able to share your example with those friends who are walking through marital destruction today.

        One thing that came to mind, have you watched our marriage video, yet? You might consider pulling that up and watching it with your husband. If you go to the “videos” tab at the top of this page, it is the first video on that page. Some couples find it helpful to watch that together and then talk about what parallels or common relationship struggles they share.

        I want to encourage you that God delights in transforming marriages for his glory. We were in a very dark place for several years, but God has done an amazing work and He can work in your marriage as well.

        “Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever.” (Eph. 3:20–21)

        Praying for you ~

  11. Posted by Stacey

    Carrie –
    THANK YOU for the encouragement. It helps to know there are other women who struggle with this. I can sit in a pit of self pity and self defeat at what I have done, but I am choosing to not do that. I am resolved to look to Jesus and ask for His strength. There are currently at least 4-5 couples I know who are either separated, or divorcing. I made a convenant with God and my husband and have decided my marriage is worth fighting for. I am choosing to not just “settle” that this is “just how it’s going to be”. But mercy….it is hard. Again, thank you.


  12. Posted by Stacey

    Thank you so much for replying. I appreciate your honest input and prayers.
    I will continue to seek Jesus and ask the Holy Spirit for wisdom and guidance.

  13. Posted by Barbara

    Dear Kimberly – i shared with you a few months ago that we will be reading through your book as a group of moms. Today was our last meeting talking about the last 2 Chapters and about the impact this book has had (and is having) on our lives and marriages. Each lady shared honestly of the ways their marriage has been impacted for the better. We are more aware than ever of our need to rely TOTALLY on our Father in Heaven and let Him love us first of all. Our motto this one week before Christmas as SOFT WARRIORS is: ARISE SHINE FOR YOUR LIGHT HAS COME! (Is60:1). We can arise, stand up and become the woman we are created to be and shine because of His Presence in our hearts. Shining probably means being soft 🙂 because we do not have to control out of fear. We are safe in the love of Jesus!!! THANK YOU GOD! And Thank YOU for your transparency and for writing. The Holy Spirit has been working through it and God used it mightily in our group and in many woman’s lives.

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Barbara ~

      Wow, thank you so much for sharing! I love hearing how God is at work. Thank you for your faithfulness to encourage this group. I hope the group is plugged into the blog and will stay connected and use the posts here as a resource to keep pressing into all He has for them as “soft warriors!”

      May you and your family have a most blessed Advent season ~

  14. Posted by Thelma Kavanamur

    Dear Kimberly,

    I am from the beautiful Pacific Island nation of Papua New Guinea. Last night at 12am my time, I listened to the podcast of “Fierce Women”on Focus On The Family. I couldn’t help but cry through the whole interview. I am a fierce destructive woman who is a Christian. Everything you and your husband mentioned about your first seven years of marriage is a reality for my marriage.

    I know I am the problem. My destructive fierceness has turned by wonderful, happy, vibrant, servant heart, loving, God-fearing, soft spoken husband into a silent, hurting, fearful, indifferent person. Our marriage of only 2 years has turned cold. I feel like walking out everyday. Not one day goes by without me picking a fight with harsh words, shouting in frustration and crying.

    Every time I threaten my husband with a divorce and always this is the only time he is quick to be assertive and say divorce is not an option for us because we have made a promise to God that we would be married for life and he believes strongly that our conflict is only for a season and that God will get us out of this somehow. I am ashamed to say that his unwavering faith in God and our marriage frustrates me.

    I need help and don’t know where to start. What has climaxed our marriage to this destructive place is the fact that I have been the sole bread winner for one year and have had a surprise pregnancy with a cesarean birth. Not my ideals and expectations as a flourishing, independent, self sufficient young woman. You see my husband lost his job as a mining engineer and all our perks and privileges along with well meaning friends vanished overnight and I was left in a world where I had to go out and make money to support my family for survival a role I thought I’d relinquish to my husband once married.

    Since then every time my husband wants to venture into starting up a private business I became very critical of his ideas to the point that he stopped sharing them with me. He has stayed home for a one year and has taken care of our daughter while I have gone to work earning enough to pay the bills and put food on the table and meet our daughter’s needs.

    I am tired of being a destructive fierce woman. I want to help, affirm, love and build up my husband into the man God has called him to be but I don’t know how to go about it. I guess I have been wrapped up with pride, selfishness, bitterness, anger, anxiety and depression for so long.

    I want to start afresh this month and hope you can advise me on where I should start and how I should travel this road to wholeness, love and restoration.

    Thank you for your interview.


    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Thelma ~

      Oh, precious friend, I am so very sorry for the pain you and your husband are experiencing. It is so hard to be in that dark place without hope. I pray you’ll be encouraged when I tell you, God is able, He can take your brokenness and do a beautiful and redemptive work!

      Do you have a few older women in your life who are spiritually mature and can help hold you accountable to learning how to demonstrate true love to your husband? I encourage you to ask God to supply some good “truth speakers” that will come alongside you in this journey!

      I hope you will read “Fierce Women” (I’ll post the link below where you can read the first chapter) and you might also find it helpful to sign up for the 31-Day husband encouragement challenge. I’ll post that link below also for you.

      I hope you are plugged into a healthy and biblical church body, I encourage you to look for a spiritually mature couple that you can spend time with, not in a “counseling setting,” but doing activities together or meals, so that you can be regularly exposed to a couple whose marriage relationship is a good example to follow.

      Be encouraged knowing that God is at work. He appointed the timing that you would hear the broadcast and begin this reparation journey. Please stay in touch and let me know how things are going. If you “subscribe” to the website (it’s free, just plug your email address into the subscribe box at the upper left hand column), you’ll receive a daily blog post (Mon thru Fri) from me that you might find helpful.

      Pausing to pray for you now and sending you links below that many women have found helpful:

      Pausing to pray for you now ~

  15. Posted by Kathryn Motl

    I have been using your book for our ladies Bible study this year. There are six married women with children that I teach. I can’t tell you how encouraging your book has been for us. My husband just retired this year and I have learned so much in valuing him. Thank you for loving your Savior and seeing the importance of following God’s plan for a family, and sharing it through your insightful writing.
    A sister in Christ

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Kathryn ~

      Thank you so much for sharing this with me! It is so encouraging to know that there are women who are impacting their families because of the truths God has taught me and what He did in our marriage. I pray the women will continue pressing on in their study of the Word. You might consider leading them through another study I highly recommend:

      True Woman 201: Interior Design

      You can find more information about that book here:

      And I hope you’ll encourage your group to connect with me here on the blog. They can receive a daily blog post that I hope they’ll find helpful.

      Blessings to you dear sister ~

  16. Posted by Dianne Kirk

    Thank you so much for sharing your struggles with others. I personally related to where you said, “that other women observed that you intimidated men.” I immediately repented before the Lord. I had been told that as well. To tell you how hard my heart had become, I had taken it as a compliment. I was raised in a very abusive family, and both parents were strong-willed and lived their entire life in rebellion to God. This is no excuse. I am praying that God will make me a “soft warrior.” I will recommend your book to pastors and pastor’s wives when they counsel couples. Thank you so much for putting the Word of God throughout your book. It’s the only thing that will not return void. So much stronger & powerful than any man’s words.

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Dianne ~

      I am so sorry that I missed your comment when it originally came in! I hope that somehow you see my response and know that I am so thankful to hear how God has been speaking to you.

      I pray that you see tangible evidence that He is transforming you into that “soft warrior” that will bring Him much glory!

  17. Posted by Clayton

    I was working at my job delivering coke products and while in the truck i came across ur story and talk about ur book Fierce woman. Well i have to say this is my wife to the tee, very unsupportive, condescending, talks down to me, etc. It seems that this book was made for my wife. I am thinking about goin into seminary training and again she is very unsupportive in that as well. Everything u talked about in ur book u spoke of, hit the nail on the head about her. I love her and only want her support. She is very destructive in our marriage and thought many times to call it quits. But haven’t because God frowns upon it. I hope if i get this book for her she will read it. Thank u for writing this book, and yes we men are like little kids at heart, and just want the love and support shown back to us that we have shown them. I plann on picking up a book maybe tomorrow.

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Clayton ~

      I’m thankful that God providentially spoke to you and allowed you to hear about our story. I pray that He uses it to speak to both you and your wife and do a transforming work in your marriage!

      He is able! (Eph. 3:2–21)

  18. Posted by Landrie

    Hi Kim,

    I heard you and LeRoy on Radio Pulpit this morning, and as you spoke, I felt as if you were speaking directly to me.

    I am buying this book of yours right now! I am sure that God is working His way through you to touch not only my marriage, but also my soul.

    Thank you for writing it and being faithful to our Father.

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Landrie ~

      I’m thankful that God providentially led you to hear our story. I pray that He uses the content of the book, His Word, and His Spirit, to bring about a work in your life that will bring Him great glory!

      Blessings ~

  19. Posted by mb


    I heard you and Leroy on Gary Chapman’s saturday radio show. Praise Jesus that he has spoken to you and Leroy and that you and Leroy have had the gift of brokeness to recieve his words.

    I am trying to let Jesus live in me and to do the will and works of our great god. I have been married for 41 years plus to a friece woman who I love dearly but am unable to help much at all. She is not only destructive towards me but also causes herself much hurt. Rarely will she admit to being wrong. And her confession of being a sinner is almost none existant.

    God has been good to me in this land. He has gifted me with children and grands, with disabled retirement, friends, chruch communities,…

    He has also gifted me with uncurable cancer. I am now a 14 year survivor thanks to his grace. Now I am plagued by severe pain from an outbreak of shingles that continues to attack my chemo damaged nerves the last 9 weeks with no expectation of it quitting.

    This has farther damaged our troubled marriage relationship. Now I am looking at more boundaries – walls to care for myself. I still want to help others as well as myself. I do believe god created me to be of service to others. I look forward to reading your book and sharing it with my friends.

    May Jesus and god help all of us who have so often eaten of the tree of good and evil / confusion. Merle

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, “mb”

      We are so sorry for the painful journey you are on! We’re thankful that God providentially led you to hear our story and pray that He uses it to encourage you. He is faithful.

      We’ve both had shingles and understand your pain, but we’ve never had to deal with it combined with cancer or a body weakened from chemo. We are so sorry. We pray that God will provide you with much grace and patience. May God use your painful journey to draw you even closer to Himself, while at the same time allowing your wife to see the grace He is giving you. May she be drawn to Christ by the powerful work of the Spirit!

      Pausing to pray for you now ~

  20. Posted by Michelle Barrett

    Hi Kimberly,

    I received your book from a sister in Christ last Sunday at church. I have been totally convicted! Although I own, recognize, acknowledge and take full responsibility for my own actions…The pain, despair, mental anguish, anger, bitterness, resentment and frustration towards my husband is most unbearable. I am “THAT” woman down to every descriptive word you used. I am ashamed and embarrassed. He is completely checked out from reality and lives in a constant state of denial. I am at the end of my rope, in a very dark place. There is so much more to my story……..with a shattered and very broken heart, I humbly ask for prayer please

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Michelle ~

      I am so very sorry for the dark and painful place you are in. I am thankful that God is at work–it may not look like it right now, but He is at work. I’m thankful a friend shared the book with you. I hope that you and your husband are receiving help from your church family.

      God is aware, He sees, He knows, and He cares.

      “Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us eternal comfort and good hope by grace, comfort and strengthen your hearts in every good work and word.” (2 Thess. 2:16–17)

      I am lifting you up in prayer, dear one, may the God of all comforts meet you in this dark hour ~

  21. Posted by Carrie DeLong

    Be encouraged Michelle. You are in the very best possible place for God to work. Contrite hearts won’t be despised by our God – pardon my paraphrase (Psalm 51:17) He loves u. And you are in good company. Praying for your marriage this morning. Keep us updated!

  22. Posted by Cherise

    Dear Kim,

    I first heard the podcast on Focus on the Family with you and your husband just a month ago. My daughter was sick and I stayed home from church with her while my husband took our other two girls. And God lead me to choose that podcast to listen to. I honestly felt like I was listening to my husband and I talk and share our struggles. I immediately went on Amazon and ordered the book. I’m only half way through, I’ve been reading and re-reading to make sure I “get it”!

    Totally transformational! Almost 13 years of marriage and I’ve been a Fierce Woman for all of it. In the last two years I’ve seen my husband struggle with depression. I’ve joked (although it’s not funny at all), that we’ve transitioned from lovers to roommates to inmates.

    Your book has given me hope to a marriage where I thought there was none.
    I really want to start a Bible study/book study in my home for other wives that I think could benefit from your book. I think for me the accountability will really help as well. Any suggestions for our study? I was reading through previous comments and I saw that you mentioned working on some study material and that post looked like it was from a few years ago.

    Thank you so much for writing this book, thank you for your transparency. I’ve read so many books in the past about the “strong willed wife” and the “submissive wife” and the “Proverbs 31 wife”, and honestly I felt with all those books that I had to change who I was to be a better wife. Your one line from your book “it wasn’t my fierceness that was the problem, it’s what I was doing with my fierceness” was exactly what I needed to hear. That I don’t have to change who I am, I need to embrace who I am but redirect it to bring God Glory.

    Thank you, thank you for this book, I’m so grateful that God transformed you so that you can show us how He wants to transform all of us Fierce Women.

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Cherise ~

      Thank you so much for your encouraging comment. I am so thankful for God’s providence in your life and how He graciously led you to listen to that podcast. If you’ve not seen our marriage video, you might find it helpful as well:

      I am so sorry that I don’t have a companion study guide written yet, yes that is on my “to do” list. So much to write, so little time! This year my husband and I have been working on a book for men: “Men Who Love Fierce Women: The Power of Servant Leadership” and it will be released in September.

      Several groups across the country, and the world (amazes me), have used the book with the “Heart Issues” questions with the Scriptures that are at the end of each chapter to have a discussion/small group study time weekly as they read through the book together. When I’m able, I often meet through SKYPE or FaceTime with the group for one session, to offer prayer and words of encouragement. I would be glad to do that if you hold a group study, if we can work out the scheduling.

      Cherise, I’m so glad for how God has worked in your life and am excited to think that you’ll be investing in and sharing with other women! I hope you’ll also plug in here by subscribing to receive the daily blog by email.

      Let me know if I can serve you in any way, blessings ~

  23. Posted by Kimberly Wagner

    Hello, Sue ~

    Wow, so grateful that God led you here. That is so like Him, He is always at work to bring redemption and healing. Thank you for your honesty and I commend you for being willing to reach out and receive input from a Christian blogger, and to admit that you aren’t a Christian.

    I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing because of your husband’s choices. Betrayal by a loved one is such a deep sorrow, it brings physical, emotional, and spiritual consequences (that you are enduring). I am so sorry.

    I’m so glad you aren’t just wallowing in your pain, but you are seeking help here, and you’re being honest to how you’ve contributed to your marital breakdown. Even though your husband is planning to divorce, I’ve seen God step into the most desperate situations and bring healing and reconciliation.

    But Sue, I must tell you, the healing of your marriage is not your greatest need as this point. Your greatest need is to know the One who created you, who sees what you are facing today, and is pursuing your heart.

    God pursues us by continually putting signposts in our lives to point us to His reality. Signposts like: the beauty of creation, our conscience, the historical evidence of Christ’s life and resurrection, the testimony of those whose lives have been changed by entering into a relationship with Christ.

    This website serves as one of those signposts. And He led you here. I hope that realization causes you to pause in wonder. It does me.

    God is at work revealing Himself to you. He has “communicated” to you by revealing Himself through creation (Romans 1:20; Psalm 19:1-6). Just as when you look at a beautiful painting and that gives you some indication of the personality and ability of the artist, in the same way looking at God’s creation masterpiece gives us clues about God.

    As we observe the wonder of the heavens, the beauty of a sunset, the power in a thunderstorm, or the splendor of a waterfall, we’re seeing “signposts” of the genius and intelligence of its Creator.

    God has also inserted evidence of His existence within us by giving mankind a conscience—that innate understanding of justice, morality, and right and wrong (see Romans 1:18–19) that we’re all born with. However, most foolishly ignore or reject this knowledge of God (Romans 1:21–23, 28–32).

    Amazingly, God has also revealed Himself to us by coming to earth in the form of man—Jesus Christ (Hebrews 1:1–4; Colossians 1:15–23; John 3:16–17).

    Sue, God sees you. He cares about your pain, He cares about the destruction of your marriage. All of creation is struggling under the painful consequences of man’s rebellion. But God cares enough to rescue us from our rebellion.

    And Sue, God sees all you’ve ever done, just as He sees and knows every wicked thought or action of mine—and the unbelievable (yet true) thing is—He came in order to pay the penalty for our wickedness, in order to cleanse us that we might have a relationship with Him and set us free from our addiction to sinful choices. He is willing to forgive–that’s what He offers you, Sue, complete and total forgiveness.

    We don’t deserve it, but He demonstrated His love to us by coming to rescue us–in the form of Jesus Christ.

    That truth blows me away.

    If you’re interested, read Romans 5:6–12, 18–21 to see how this occurs.

    If you are searching, I hope you’ll continue until you reach the place of rest. That place is found in truth. And truth is found in the person of Jesus Christ (John 14:6).

    I pray that God captures your heart, as well as your husband’s. It truly is amazing the changes and healing He is able to bring as we come to Him for help. I would love to visit with you more about this if you’d like, just let me know . . .

    My husband and I are praying for you, Sue, and for your husband ~

  24. Posted by Jamie

    I was brought to your site by a recent post on the Focus on the Family newsletter I receive…..Thanks be to God! Our family moved in 2014, changing schools, jobs, church, friends, etc. God had been readying us for the move for some time, but I was unprepared for the challenges I would experience. My circumstances brought out some very ‘fierce qualities’ in me, but, sadly, they were not of the beautiful kind. While I have wrestled with fierce-ness for many years, I had not truly understood how destructive it could be to those around me. God has used this time of rebuilding to open my heart and help me see how to better handle myself in times of struggle. He continues to give me the strength to lean into Him and learn to re-write my story….thank you Kimberly for your courage!

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Jamie ~

      So thankful that God led you here! Yes, drastic life changes, like a move, a new baby, long-term illness, anything that “squeezes” us, tends to reveal the “yuck” that can lie dormant during the easy days of life.

      So good to know that God is using this time in your life and you are leaning into Him as never before! I hope you’ll stay connected here on the blog. You can “Subscribe” to receive daily blog posts by email by putting your email address in the “Subscribe” box.

      Thank you for stopping in to leave such an encouraging comment ~

  25. Posted by Susan

    A dear friend told me about you and your ministry to hurting marriages. I am going to listen to your video tomorrow and hopefully get my husband to listen with me later. He isn’t as interested in working on our marriage as he just thinks we made a mistake getting married. We are very different and struggle to find joy in our marriage. Please pray that he will be open to hearing your story and finding out if what you and your husband have learned can help us. We have been married 18 years next month. My friend is at the end of a year long divorce that took her by surprise. She wished she’d learned of you earlier.

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Susan ~

      Sorry that I’m just now finding your comment. I hope that your husband was willing to watch the video with you and that you are seeing God at work in your marriage. You might also find our book for husbands helpful: “Men Who Love Fierce Women.” I hope you’ll connect through the daily blog posts and thankful that you have a friend who encouraged you to check out this site.

      Although I don’t know what is going on in your life right now, we have a Savior who does and I’m so thankful He is aware of all you face and cares. He is able to work, even when it looks impossible! Nothing is too hard for Him!

      Pausing to pray for you and your marriage now ~

  26. Posted by DEBBIE


    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, Debbie ~

      Wow, that is hard. My heart breaks to hear your situation and know the desperation you’re experiencing. I am so very sorry for the pain you are experiencing because of your husband’s sinful choices. Trust, me, God is at work even when you can’t see it (John 5:17).

      I encourage you to find one or two spiritually mature women in your church to whom you can safely confide and ask them to help you navigate through this process biblically. I hope you are in a biblical church body and are receiving help and counsel from wise leaders who will pursue your husband’s heart. As much as I’d like to help you, responding through blog posts is a severely limited form of encouragement and accountability. But I pray God will use the words below to give you some direction.

      There are no pat answers or easy solutions. The truth is that God’s grace is sufficient for every need, but that doesn’t mean that every situation will result in a happy ending. When two individuals are willing to walk in a state of repentance and humility, depending on God’s grace in applying the truth of His Word to desperate situations—even then it takes much hard work and perseverance to overcome selfish tendencies and begin to reap the joy of a one-souled marriage. When only one mate is willing to work on the marriage, it may take years for the other mate to respond in kind—and perhaps he never will.

      God’s ultimate purpose for marriage is not our individual happiness—ultimately His purpose is for the world to see the gospel displayed (Ephesians 5:22-33). The amazing grace in all of it, however, is that when we establish the type of marital relationship described in this passage—we experience great joy and God receives great glory!

      With all of the above in mind, however we should never “pretend” that sinful acts are “okay” or ignore the sinful conduct of our husbands. That is not fulfilling the role of a godly wife. “Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:5–6).

      Scripture instructs us to humbly and lovingly confront the sin of a fellow believer—even if that believer is our husband, a brother in Christ (Galatians 6:1–2; Matthew 18:15–18). I don’t know whether your husband is a Christian, but there needs to be an intervention. I hope the spiritual leadership of your church will get involved with this.

      Below are a few general guidelines for confrontation:

      1) Seek the Lord first. Spend time in prayer and the Word asking God for His direction and timing before confronting.

      2) Be sure your desire to confront stems from the motive of spiritual restoration for your husband, not in order to “fix things” more to your liking.

      3) Search your own heart to see if there are areas of sin that need to be confessed before God and perhaps to your husband (Matt. 7:5). As difficult as it will be, in order to confront your husband in a godly and biblical manner, you will need to extend the same grace and forgiveness to him that has been shown to you (Ephesians 4:31–32).

      4) Consider writing out your concerns in a letter. Most men do not respond well to emotional pleas, angry confrontations or impassioned exchanges. Putting things in a cordial written form is sometimes helpful in preventing that type of confrontation.

      5) Before confronting, release unrealistic expectations. Depend on the Holy Spirit to bring conviction, not your words. Determine that once you’ve voiced your concerns, you will leave this in the Lord’s hands.

      6) If your husband remains unrepentant in sin and that sin reaches a level that requires the intervention of spiritual leadership, you will need to follow the process of confrontation as outlined in Matthew 18:15-18.

      7) Do not enable your husband in his sin. Let him know that he should not make right choices out of fear of your reaction. He is responsible before God for his actions. After sincerely communicating this to him—allow him to reap the consequences of his own sin. No matter how difficult it is for you to watch—don’t bail him out.

      8) Diligently, specifically, and regularly intercede in prayer for your husband’s area of struggle. Do not talk to him about his sin more than you talk to God about it. After you’ve confronted him, give him time and space to repent while you go to the Lord with your concerns about the issue, rather than your husband.

      My prayer is that God will fill you with hope as He gives you a glimpse of what He can do. I pray that you will communicate openly, honestly and in loving humility, your heart to your mate. Please do not retreat to a world of self-pity and pain.

      No matter what your husband chooses to do, Christ is to be the center of your devotion and affections. Look to Him to fill your deepest needs.

      I pray that your mate will respond in receptivity and humility and with a willingness to make the hard choices of unselfishness and be willing to agree with you to go to whatever lengths are necessary in order to get help with his addiction and work toward establishing a Christ-centered love-filled home that reflects God’s character.

  27. Posted by Carrie A DeLong

    Just prayed for you Debbie! Not sure if this is the right spot to respond. Hang in there though! I’m will reiterate numbers 7 and 8 on Kim’s list though … those have been biggies for us. Keep us updated. God is big enough – stay close to Him. He has more invested in your marriage than you do!

  28. Posted by Megan

    This book. Oh my goodness. Has radically convicted me of not only my relationship with my husband, but how I interact with friends, coworkers, and strangers. My SINGLE best friend told me to read Fierce Women, because it resonated with her and she’s not even married. Boy howdy – when you spoke about the Deadly Three, I legit thought you were talking right at me. I’ve been married for two years and my husband is a kid-at-heart kind of guy. He is a goofball who also happens to love math and practicality. We could not be more different. Your book came at just the right time. BEFORE we hit rock bottom. Thank you for putting it all out there! I have zipped my lip and turned to praying like a mad woman! We’ll see what 2017 comes of this approach. haha!

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Wow, Megan, thanks for sharing some of your story. So thankful for your friend passing on the book! I hope you’ll subscribe to the blog, to get (almost daily) posts delivered to your inbox. You might find those helpful as you press into the rest of 2017! 🙂

  29. Posted by George

    Having just listened to both episodes on Focus on the Family I can say I totally relate to your situation. I have an amazingly wonderful and strong wife who God has entrusted to me. And yet for many years I have failed to establish healthy and necessary boundaries with my family of origin for a variety of reasons including fear. My marriage is failing despite my every effort to restore it. It seems as though every one of my efforts will always be viewed with through a lens of having an ulterior motive. I may not address or handle every situation the way my wife would and as a result it is never satisfactory. I am the first to admit my shortcomings and desperately desire to restore my marriage. Any help or counsel you can provide is greatly appreciated.

    • Posted by Kimberly Wagner

      Hello, George,

      First of all, I’m so sorry for the difficult place your marriage has reached, but I want to encourage you–God is able to transform the most hopeless situations.

      We often encourage couples to watch our marriage video together, that can lead to some much needed honest conversation. If you will speak the truth in love, humbly conversing with your wife about your concerns, but letting her know your love and commitment to her before you watch the video, that hopefully will prepare her heart. Here is the link to several videos, but the first one listed is the one you might share with her:

      We also encourage couples to read through our books together, the wife reading “Fierce Women” while the husband reads “Men Who Love Fierce Women.” The chapters of each book correspond with the other, it would be good to trade books at the end of each chapter to get an understanding of your spouse’s needs and struggles, and then go through the questions together at the end of each chapter.

      Your wife may not be open to this idea, but if you lovingly lead her, it may be the start of the two of you working together toward restoration. I pray that it is!

  30. Posted by Cynthia

    I just finished this book, and all I can say is thank you. This book has slowly changed me and helped me to view marriage and my attitude in a new way. The fierceness you described in the book was me exactly, and I feel horrible that I was blinded so long. I now know how I should act as a wife and how I should view marriage as a Christian. Thank you for this.

  31. Posted by Christy

    This book has deeply impacted my life and has had a huge influence on who I am becoming as an as-of-yet unmarried, fierce woman. I’m still living in my parents’ home and struggle frequently with the dynamics of being a fierce woman with three very different Christian men in my life – my dad and two brothers. I could put out all kinds of questions, but what is most difficult for me lately is how to affirm manliness and strength in my brother, who is an independent but God-seeking young man. I believe my destructive fierceness as a teenager did serious damage to our relationship growing up, and now he keeps his business to himself and doesn’t open up to me much. When we do talk (this is where my main question comes), he makes a lot of self-building comments like “I’m great!” or “My friends love me!” He doesn’t tell me much about his life or work, which would give me opportunities to express my belief in his abilities as a man; but instead talks himself up. I have no idea how to meet this in an encouraging way, especially when he generally looks out for himself when it comes to those areas that do effect both of us. No matter what I do to look out for his interests, I rarely see him looking out for me. And then when it comes to affirming him verbally, this big part of me feels that he has a big ego already, and wonder if I should reply, “Yep, you are the stuff! You’re great!” anyway when he is making self-aggrandizing comments? I realize that countering or diminishing them definitely won’t build any bridges. My understanding of the Fierce Women book would seem to suggest that what he is experiencing is a lack of encouragement, so he builds himself up to replace that lack; but how do I build him up without encouraging the mildly selfish behavior I’m experiencing?

    Additionally, do you have any advice fundamentally for a young Fierce Woman in my circumstances (unmarried, living at home with her parents and unmarried adult brothers)?
    Thanks and God bless!


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  24. Father Still Knows Best, part 2 | Better Not Bitter - […] as many men were calling requesting “Fierce Women” as a gift too! Trust, if you are dealing with a…
  25. Need a Book for Husbands on Being Courageous Leaders? | Kimberly Wagner - […] Fierce Women […]
  26. Heart-to-Heart Hump Day: Chelsy Cork | Stay Great, My Girl. - […] book Fierce Women by Kimberly Wagner has been an incredible read. I have a bit of a strong personality…
  27. War Room and a yucky nose | joyfuljohnsonjourney - […] and a very good church friend. The church friend gave me a book over a YEAR ago! It is…
  28. How to Succeed as a Woman of Influence | Kimberly Wagner - […] Fierce Women […]

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